Official Blood Wars Board | Print: " The Darkness "

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Posted by EX3 on 12-22-2011 at23:05:

" The Darkness "

I have written a short charecter story for my charecter.
Its not really good but i want to know what people think
of it becouse i want a charecter story for my charecter
description.

Year 2007. Dark evil spreads across the lands covering it in toxic
darkness, infecting their bodies making them into an army called
The Darkness.
The army of Darkness grew into their millions and was soon biting
innocent victims injecting their toxic vemon making them into their
own and left no area untouched.

Year 2011. The Darkness decreased. At the age of 18 EX3 was given
The Noble Amulet before his father past away, "It will bring you power
you will never know and you will go and fulfil your destiny" was his
fathers last words. EX3 then set off with The Noble Amulet around
his neck and set off on his deadly journey to bring down The Darkness forever....

Please comment what you think.

Posted by franz on 12-22-2011 at23:13:

You've got a nice building block for your character there. It gives it an air of mystery: what was your destiny? Your ultimate goal/aim?
I can't talk about grammar, but all this needs is a bit maturity and it'd be a good enough read.

Posted by EX3 on 12-22-2011 at23:14:

quote:

Originally posted by franz
You've got a nice building block for your character there. It gives it an air of mystery: what was your destiny? Your ultimate goal/aim?
I can't talk about grammar, but all this needs is a bit maturity and it'd be a good enough read.

I cant put it into a mature one just that one sorry Frown