 Tale of the Twins Book Two  |
Mortis
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Awesome 
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"The brightest light is invisible. It shines through your deeds. And warms the universe."
"Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind."
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12-20-2009 19:08 |
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Ba_al
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nooo heraldo!! great chapter.and was not expectin hesperas plot twist. good work lys.
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DraGan 15:51 -> the time is never important, only the destination , thats how bal rolls 
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12-21-2009 16:13 |
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Nemazis
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Question. When this gets published, won't you hafta change uhh... i think it was Lestats name to something else? Like because of copyright reasons and all. I remember raziel mentioning once that in his story, lestat has his name "Changed" (sorry, a space isn't a change IMO) because of something like that... gah i read that ages ago, i can't remember EXACTLY what the reason was...
And just wondering, what characters are in the most stories at the moment? (meaning ALL stories). I'm curious as to who is the most famous character for people to write about XD
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12-21-2009 18:34 |
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Demandred2
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God this is good stuff 
Are you going to make a book about it?
If you do you will probably find its a bestseller 
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12-21-2009 18:38 |
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Lysandra
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Registration Date: 01-11-2008
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@ Ba_al: Ah, I know. Well it kind of works since he's 'retired' in the game...LOL. That was the point, the Hespera thing was supposed to be one of the biggest twists..hehe.
@DJ: All names have been changed except for about... 10 or so I think.
I have no idea who the most popular character is in general right now...LOL. I know the most frequent character in these would be Lest and myself since we're mentioned from beginning to end in both books...lol
@ Demandred: I'm hoping it'll be a best seller. Book 1 is being looked at as we speak and should be on shelves sometime in the new year...I hope anyway. Depending how well the first 8 months or so go on that, this one will hopefully come out shortly after. I'm hoping for a best seller. Means I can quit my job and just write all day...LOL.
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| quote: |
Originally posted by *GayTiger*
lys... that was amazing, it's pure orgasm on a page!
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12-21-2009 19:39 |
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Demandred2
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Il buy it
how much would it cost?
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12-21-2009 19:54 |
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Nemazis
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I will pay you with my freshly cut-out testicles
That SHOULD cover the price of the books, possibily more XD
And ofcourse in your book, you and lestat are are the most common character. It is a story about how you two came to a city and brought it to peace (well, in this case, blood, war, and explosions XD)
Last comment since i don't usually say more than 2 comments between updates... Napple juice, i drinkz it. (yeah i realised it's 1 letter off of nipple AFTER thinking for about 15 seconds)
Okay, changed my mind. LAST last comment. Who's names haven't been changed? Me wanna knowez.
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12-21-2009 20:33 |
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Lysandra
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@ Demandred: Depends where you live with exchange and all. And I haven't gotten that far to decide on a price yet....lol.
@DJ: What am I going to do with your testicles?? LOL.
Tried to bring peace...we just got a bit side tracked with Azrael being a bit of a tyrant and La Puce, pardon, Aries wanting world domination and pitting BoS against us...LOL
Yours wasn't changed because you say it's your nickname. Raz's wasn't changed since it actually is the name for an angel (I think). Puce got to keep his name, so did Azrael, Llianna, myself, Vladimir, Hespera, Azz, Heraldo (RIP) and...I think that's it. And no, I'm not saying what everyone's names got changed to because: 1) I can't remember right now and 2) you'll have to find out for yourself and it might ruin the surprise
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| quote: |
Originally posted by *GayTiger*
lys... that was amazing, it's pure orgasm on a page!
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12-21-2009 20:41 |
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Hespera
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I go on holiday and almost miss huge updates!
Well it's been a pretty intense read with the hellbeast and everythng else. More back story was definitely cool, especially the twin part. I am not a twin IRL but I do have have boy/girl twins of my IRL 
Woohoo I finally woke up and loved going all psycho and killing Mortis! Well ok sorry for killing you Mortis, but it was still fun! Does everyone turn on me now and take me down now since I'm like all possessed and ripping body parts off people and scaring the zombies? Haha, would be funny.
I want to see what happens with LaPuce now. I mean split personality or not he can't get out of this mess easily ca he?
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12-22-2009 23:12 |
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Lysandra
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@ Hespera: haha, see what you get for going on holidays?? LOL.
Well, if I didn't make you a twin, according to all the magic 'rules' there are, you wouldn't of been that strong a mage, even with year of the dragon and aquarius/picses thing going for you..so yeah. I gave you a twin then killed him off...LOL. Aww. I love twins...being one, obviously...lol.
Ah, you'll see...hah.
No, he doesn't get out of it too easily. It's not detailed in this book what happens to him but there is the explaination in the epilogue. Then in the third book (YES, THIRD book
) is the detailed version. Raxis gets +1 for guessing that this is a triology.
UPDATE on the editing process of book 1: It's being professionally edited as we speak. So in about 3 weeks, I'll have the edited copy back, I make changes and send it back. Just having a slight issue with actually paying the people and getting a cover design but it should be resolved soon. Any other updates to book 1 will be put on facebook from now on. This is the only 'freebie' you get on it...
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| quote: |
Originally posted by *GayTiger*
lys... that was amazing, it's pure orgasm on a page!
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12-23-2009 14:25 |
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Nemazis
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Uhm... okay my 3rd post.
Since soon, your book is gonna be uhh... a real hardback book for sale, won't you have to remove the story on this website? Also everyone who copy/pasted would be able to distribute it around for free if they did (saying that it's all BW players, so either they'd be nice, or sell it as a web version)
So yeah... THIS is my final post
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I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
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12-24-2009 17:03 |
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Mortis
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| quote: |
Originally posted by Lysandra
Ah, sorry Mortis...and Ba_al...and everyone else that got killed....
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Well I don't mind dying just after so long fight with you my death seems cheap to me.. and same for diablo
anyway good story so far
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"The brightest light is invisible. It shines through your deeds. And warms the universe."
"Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind."
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12-24-2009 22:53 |
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smierc
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diablo :'(
whyyyyy 
damn raxis :'(
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GT
| quote: |
Originally posted by Evangelion
It was inevitable since GT joined the discussion
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12-24-2009 23:19 |
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Lysandra
Viking
Registration Date: 01-11-2008
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@ mortis: Haha, I know, Hespera came out of no where...lol. I want to work on Diablo's a bit more, didn't quite turn out as planned. at least he got killed by the person he was orignally fighting. And some of BoS escaped, so it's not a total massacare.
@ smierc: lol, I know. I went on this kick of people killing their own parents. Llianna in the first book, Raxis in the second...LOL. I just noticed, the thing in your warnings section says (spam trade theard). What's a theard?? lol.
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| quote: |
Originally posted by *GayTiger*
lys... that was amazing, it's pure orgasm on a page!
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12-25-2009 00:08 |
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smierc
Double Ace
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| quote: |
Originally posted by Lysandra
@ smierc: lol, I know. I went on this kick of people killing their own parents. Llianna in the first book, Raxis in the second...LOL. I just noticed, the thing in your warnings section says (spam trade theard). What's a theard?? lol. |
vampking can't spell
and they're ignoring requests to remove then replace the warning
and it wasn't spam, was ORLY owl
anyway lys it was a beautiful piece of work
oh and can we kill raxis now?
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GT
| quote: |
Originally posted by Evangelion
It was inevitable since GT joined the discussion
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12-25-2009 07:17 |
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Hespera
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Registration Date: 05-06-2007
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| quote: |
Originally posted by smierc
vampking can't spell
and they're ignoring requests to remove then replace the warning
and it wasn't spam, was ORLY owl
anyway lys it was a beautiful piece of work
oh and can we kill raxis now?
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smierc: He's on holiday right now
On topic: I am going to have to say I don't really like how Diablo died. It did seem like much to quick of a clean up for his character. Aside from that it's still good. I'm not wanting the book to end but on the other hand I do look forward to the finishing installments.
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12-26-2009 17:08 |
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Lysandra
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@ Ninja GT: Jeez, you just don't like Raxis...lol
@ Hespera: It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, Diablo's death that is. I've been kind of in a partial writers block. Actually to be honest, I'm not quite motivated to do much of anything right now except sit and read or play video games.
Heck, i wasn't even going to come on tonight but I figured I might as well for a bit. Then I'll go back to playing video games around like 9PM. Usually I'm on till after reset.
In general:
Anyway, because of my lack of motivation to even turn ON the laptop, I doubt this will be done by Monday night. I haven't even finished chapter 18 yet which there are some parts (like Diablo's death, the scene with La Puce and the end of this bit) that I want to change. It'll probably be too big to put here after but meh.
I'm going to say this is going to be up by next Monday night in its completed form. Tomorrow is a busy day (shopping and meeting with a friend) so I won't be able to spend all day writing as I normally do. It's doubtful I'll even spend any time finishing or reworking this because of lack of motivation/writers block. I need a vacation to just sleep....lol
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Buying titanium neckwear of accuracy. PM in game.
Check out my website: www.vonravenstone.com
| quote: |
Originally posted by *GayTiger*
lys... that was amazing, it's pure orgasm on a page!
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12-27-2009 01:38 |
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smierc
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@lys: pretty much... but he killed diablo
however i love you and your work
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GT
| quote: |
Originally posted by Evangelion
It was inevitable since GT joined the discussion
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12-27-2009 01:57 |
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Raziel666
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Soz for coing in from out of nowhere - he he
Come times when you want to kill a character - it can be the hardest thing - especially if it is to come out of the blue. Sometimes it can be over quicker then expected.
I wasn't originally going to kill Artoir from my story - but the way to story went - I also had to - within 2 paragraphs that was the end - nothing more long winded then that.
I like sudden deaths - most of you have commented - now whether good or bad - you have commented. That surely means it envoked a reaction - now are you more annoyed at how he died - or the fact he died?
When a characted that you like is killed out - a lot of the time you do not like the way he was killed and on the battlefield - deaths are quick - it's what Lys does afterwards that will bring out the true measure of the death.
Don;t change the fact that Diablo has died - or infact the speed at which you killed him - but you may want to add a few paragraphs over Raxis's set up and internal turmiol. I think that would help
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12-27-2009 13:52 |
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Lysandra
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@ Ninja GT: lol. Thanks.
@ Raz: I think it's more the turmoil thing, I wanted to add more but couldn't get it out right or something. And yes, killing Diablo off was hard because I liked his character. It wasn't out of the blue for me, everyone that died was who was supposed to die in the end. The...six or seven that survived, were supposed to be the six or seven that survived. The alliance was supposed to be basically crippled as it is right now.
I just don't like the after part of it. I don't think I showed how much Raxis didn't really want to kill his own father but had to in the end. Partial writer's block in that sense, I can still write it's just not coming out remotely close as to how I originally wanted it.
I think when you have to kill off a character, it's one of the most hardest things, especially when you grow to like that character or know (s)he's a fan favorite. The only death that got changed was back in book 1. La Puce was supposed to be killed in the battle with Vladimir but, I decided I needed him for later so I made him live. Vladimir didn't serve as big a purpose.
I mean yeah, techinically I could have killed off Puce and made the real Vladimir go to BoS but it wouldn't have been the same. It's still going to be hard to ax someone like Puce because I just love writing his character. He's very unpredicatble...lol. That being said, it was hard to take down Dyson as well. I know he's not a fan favorite or anything but it was still difficult. Even some of the BoS members were hard to take down and of course, someone like Heraldo was tough as well.
To be honest the only death I really enjoyed writing (and this is in no means meant to offend) was Natedogg's. For the plain and simple reason that he blew up from a huge flaming arrow...lol.
.../rant. lol
__________________
Former leader of the Family of Darkness.
Buying titanium neckwear of accuracy. PM in game.
Check out my website: www.vonravenstone.com
| quote: |
Originally posted by *GayTiger*
lys... that was amazing, it's pure orgasm on a page!
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12-28-2009 02:10 |
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Raziel666
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I know what you mean
I found it quite heart breaking to let one of my main characters go. But it was a needed as it opened threw the ultimate twist - one that I hope no one would ever realise - that and having Maiden use Searing Blood to incapacitate Le Stat was just fun - no offence
Killing Artoir came to me whilst I was writing the chapter - he wasn't suppose to die - but I felt that it was needed as Mortis needed a kick in the arse
The solution to Raxis is easy - you need a flashback before he pulls the trigger
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TIME TO LOST SOME WEIGHT - I WANT MY MITSI !!!
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12-28-2009 08:28 |
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smierc
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amazing work as per usual
abby wil be ok?
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GT
| quote: |
Originally posted by Evangelion
It was inevitable since GT joined the discussion
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01-04-2010 01:31 |
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Ba_al
Viking
Registration Date: 08-05-2008
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its ovr? nooo. lys dat was a fantabolous read.great work. i must now add it to the first book i have saved lol. and i survived the war.woop dats a bonus aswell lmao.
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in-game-name
underworld: Ba_alzamon
I have a rich caramel filling
Founding father and former leader of ENDBRINGERS
DraGan 15:51 -> the time is never important, only the destination , thats how bal rolls
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01-04-2010 02:56 |
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Lysandra
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@ smierc: Of course she'll be fine. Second paragraph of the except from the journal says she lives. Holy crap are you ever a speed reader, btw...lol. I mean I know there was some time between the sections of chapter 19 and the epilogue but still....lol.
@ ba_al: yes, it's over...lol. Just don't go distrubuting those copies, kay? I mean yeah book two got major overhauls in some places and book one will have some overhauls but still...lol. Yes you did. I needed my Eastern war-monger-type leader.
In general:
So, I'm going to be taking a slight break while I figure out the logistics of book 3. I know what I want and what's going to happen IN it, it's just a matter of planning it. That and I have to make myself a website. So, you won't be seeing me in this section for quite some time, unless I'm commenting or responding to comments.
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Check out my website: www.vonravenstone.com
| quote: |
Originally posted by *GayTiger*
lys... that was amazing, it's pure orgasm on a page!
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01-04-2010 03:36 |
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smierc
Double Ace
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@ lys, i read exceptionally fast
but it was so amazing, also i might be able to offer you a certain amount of help for your website
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GT
| quote: |
Originally posted by Evangelion
It was inevitable since GT joined the discussion
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01-04-2010 19:22 |
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demonfury v2
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i havent read it yet as theres loads to read and ill need time ( when i start i wont stop till its done
)
loved the first book so i have high expections for this one, knowing you though it wont dissapoint me, i forsee a compelling read
i think i should have some special mention though simply because im me
HAHAAAAAAA
the obbessed gamer strikes critally with his playstation controller of doom, diablo lays slain on the battlefield (soooooo epic)
look forwad to reading this tomorrow
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war with reason can be excused
war with no reason or bull justification holds no excuse
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IGN: acidic shots
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01-04-2010 19:34 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
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I read this ages ago but am only commenting now since i remembered something.
1. Awesome
2. About how long do you think it'll be before you get started on book 3 (as in after editting book 1 to it's max, starting on book 2, and all that hubba)
3. As soon as that book comes out, some people on other games are SO gonna claim i've based my character off of the one in here (i always play as hunter in MMOs) despite the fact my player has existed for near 2-3 years XD
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I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
And I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
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01-08-2010 08:44 |
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Lysandra
Viking
Registration Date: 01-11-2008
Posts: 531
Location: Canada
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Thread Starter
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@ Ninja GT: haha, good to know. I think I have the website under control. I should be able to pull it together this weekend.
@ Demonfury: Well, it's all there so there's nothing stopping you....LOL. But no, you won't be able to kill diablo...sorry...lol.
@DJ: 1) Thanks
2) not for a while. I'm going to be putting the site together this weekend. Next weekend will be Book 1's final edit (after it comes back from an outside editing source-not myself). The weekend after that will probably be more website stuff or book 1 publishing stuff then probably in mid-Feb I'll be able to work on planning book 3. I think.
3) Haha. They can always check your registration date against the first post of the first book....unless of course you registered for more games after that.,..then you're screwed...lol.
4) haha at your sig. I know a person like the third point...it's creepy. I stopped hanging out with her....lol.
__________________
Former leader of the Family of Darkness.
Buying titanium neckwear of accuracy. PM in game.
Check out my website: www.vonravenstone.com
| quote: |
Originally posted by *GayTiger*
lys... that was amazing, it's pure orgasm on a page!
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01-08-2010 14:49 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
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2: Well remember to give us a heads up when the website is done. We'll wanna see it aswell
3. Unfortunately many people don't know the meaning of 'checking' they just see, and instantly assume their assumption is right. Eg Mittchell when he was dep in NIGHT. Kept calling Dasix a girl despite several people correcting him. XD
4. Oh, but this is a REALLY specific example dontcha think? I got it from that pokemon thread i read ages ago, you know the one that had near 100 pages and got me the nickname, the bunny one (won't say for the sake of rude word) by lestat -.-
Someone posted a screenshot of them in windows video maker with several shots... unfortunately one of them is clear as day in my mind.
And now the story is over, would normal replys class as spam?
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I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
And I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
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01-08-2010 15:49 |
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Raziel666
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Did you want to give any snip bits away for your third book lys?
Something to keep the fans so hooked that suicide might become an issue if you don't quam their intergeral needs and wants?
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TIME TO LOST SOME WEIGHT - I WANT MY MITSI !!!
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01-08-2010 16:24 |
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Lysandra
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@ DJ: 2) I'll be updating via facebook and here in this thread when the site is done. Or I'll just put it in my sig.
3) This is true. I do that with spawn in clan sometimes since he's down as a girl...lol.
4) Ah, right that thread. And I don't think so as long as we're on topic. So, for you, since I know we tend to get off topic, PM me back...lol
@Raz: haha, I might give the prologue or something in a new thread but I don't know if it'll go any further then that. It depends how book 1 does on the market.
__________________
Former leader of the Family of Darkness.
Buying titanium neckwear of accuracy. PM in game.
Check out my website: www.vonravenstone.com
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Originally posted by *GayTiger*
lys... that was amazing, it's pure orgasm on a page!
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01-08-2010 18:32 |
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Raxis
Set Abominae
Registration Date: 12-12-2007
Posts: 1,168
Race in game: Beastmaster
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So we gotta wait a while for book 3... aaaaw
Saying that, I'm assuming then it'll be based on either the European wars, so that the Lest/Lys death sequence at the end is valid... or they don't actually die.... or they do but come back from the X dimension
__________________
Create the infinite and expand the question.
Count to number seven.
Your day of rest creates infection,
Your imperfection.
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01-09-2010 20:47 |
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Lysandra
Viking
Registration Date: 01-11-2008
Posts: 531
Location: Canada
Race in game: Beastmaster
Thread Starter
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Yep you have to wait a while.
European wars? Eh, not really no. Remember, book 3 would be about...180 years in the future. I don't have to base anything off anything really...lol. This is why I like writing books for in the future, I suck at trying to remember history...LOL. That whole thing with Anguish being a pharaoh, yeah I wikied it....and it worked out perfectly too considering I had randomly made up his age when I first mentioned it.
__________________
Former leader of the Family of Darkness.
Buying titanium neckwear of accuracy. PM in game.
Check out my website: www.vonravenstone.com
| quote: |
Originally posted by *GayTiger*
lys... that was amazing, it's pure orgasm on a page!
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01-09-2010 22:08 |
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