 Serious Discussion |
Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
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Made this because 1: I wanted a thread to like... have actual disscussions, devoted to talking like adults, or mature kids. And 2: Because if i tried asking something, or ANYONE tried in small talk, if it's a serious topic, it'll either be ignored, or replaced by a random link REALLY quickly.
Anyway, onto what i want answered, according to gamecrow (noone will really know him, just not saying RL name) and this is in his words (don't warn please, just change the word) "If you can't act gay, then your obviously gay"
So my question is: Does insercurity mean that your homosexual, or gonna BECOME homosexual? (basically i'm insecure, don't like being touched anywhere that could be classed as somewhat sexual, and will NOT act homosexual because it does feel right to ME!)
I've already realised this might not be one of the... easily discussed topics, or could offend people if someone (including me) says something wrong or the wrong thing, which is WHY i'm hoping that anyone who replies is mature and not a dumb 12 yeah old kids whos JUST started puberty and thinks "OMG BEWBS LAWL SOH HAWT!!!"
by popeye2k8 : this thread is for serious discussion only with serious answers. anything other than these will be treated as spam and rewarded accordingly
Thanks popeye, sure as hell didn't expect this. BUT, this thread is for ANYONE who wants to discuss ANYTHING, assuming people have something to discuss, whether it's real life situations, or politics, just... try not to start arguing in the rude way XD
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And back back and backety back yo
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This post has been edited 2 time(s), it was last edited by Nemazis: 06-29-2009 02:53.
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06-27-2009 00:19 |
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Pops
moderator...apparently
Registration Date: 10-22-2008
Posts: 652
Location: england
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: BoS
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i respect your wishes of having a thread for serious discussion so this thread is allowed in my book 
if you wish to talk more in depth feel free to pm me.
its a natural thing. some people just dont like talking about their sexuality to others. just because you are uncomfortable, doesnt mean you are insecure its a phase we all go through. the next one to watch out for is paranoia.
edited subject title and added a little to opening comment
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No, you didn't imagine it, I DID just go there 
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06-27-2009 01:13 |
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Tempest
Member
Registration Date: 05-19-2008
Posts: 47
Location: UK
Race in game: Thoughtcatcher
Clan: LGN
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I think personally to be "comfortable" being touched anywhere you have to feel comfortable in your own skin. It may be that your a little on the shy side.
I think most people have hang up's where body image is concerned, after all the media rip both men & women to bits who carry a few extra pounds, have spots, scarring, disabilty's etc etc , the list is endless.
Just remember NOT everyone is perfect !! how boring would that be.
I am in fact not over weight i'm under tall 
I was insecure as a teenager skinny spotty short ar** with braces.
Things change , people grow and mature but we all have something we would like to change about ourselves even if we don't readily admit it to others.
I personally think it's a brave step posting on a forum like this asking for some help. At least you have a back bone now develop your sense of humour, the ability to laugh will carry you through life.
GC is one of those characters in life that will never be down too long, a vibrant individual who I have had the pleasure to chat too in game, he's a joker thats why he finds acting gay amusing.
Don't worry too much about these things it's a normal part of life.
Everyone has their own brand of supreme coolness .. yours is guts , GC is lucky to have a friend like you.
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Quote C47 "Do not disturb unless the problem is serious"
I am always serious about my problems
In Game Name TEMPEST
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06-27-2009 05:11 |
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Undivisible
Triple Ace
Registration Date: 07-25-2008
Posts: 233
Location: Ladek-Zdroj
Clan: HFTFlea
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Your feelings are your own right
, insercurity doesn't mean anything big imo, and if someone suddenly touches you in place you consider intimate, it means something's not quite straight with him(well, I personally wouldn't mind much if it was a girl ;D). If you don't want to act gay that's fine, nobody should force you, and it doesn't mean you can't act gay
, well, in fact it doesn't mean anything special 
.
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Is this the real un-life?
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06-27-2009 10:09 |
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OTNC
OrangeMöd
Registration Date: 06-01-2009
Posts: 381
Location: UK
Race in game: Cultist
Clan: V-13/BoS
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To be honest, I think everyones insecure at the start, 'what does/will she[he] think about X/Y'...
But over time & experience, I think you just get over it. If you have a loveing partner then they wont care about what you are selfconcious about, & love you for who u are
Sorry to get personnal also, but would you mind me asking how old you are?
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06-27-2009 12:57 |
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Cthulhu
Viking
Registration Date: 11-29-2007
Posts: 726
Location: UK
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: HL
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Hey DJ, first off, well done on starting a thread where some intelligent conversation can happen - & thanks to Pop's for securing it.
I don't think insecurity leads to homosexuality; but it does usually mean that you are a sensitive person - which in my book is quite a cool thing.
Being insecure about your body, your looks, or pretty much anything in your life is quite natural. There are people who go through life with bounds of confidence - which can also be a good thing - but can also lead them to miss out on the subtleties of the people & things they come into contact with - because a lot of the time, people who are over-confident, are usually compensating for something.
I spent years of my life being insecure, for various reasons, and it wasn't until I hit my mid-twenties that I realized that it didn't matter, and as soon as I did, I became more confident in myself.
And being able to "act gay" has nothing to do with actually being gay. Some people do it just to get attention, others do it because that is how they wish to portray themselves, others do it because that is all they understand.
Bottom line - you are who you are. As long as you are comfortable with that, then don't let anyone else tell you different.
And only change who you are if you want to - not because your friends say you should, or a magazine or TV programme says you should, or because of your favourite "celebrity"!!
From what I can tell from our brief conversations, you are a funny, intelligent, sensitive, happy guy. There ain't nothing wrong with any of those qualities my man!
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ENCHANTMENT
This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by Cthulhu: 06-27-2009 14:09.
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06-27-2009 14:08 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter 
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Whoa, i was expecting to either get locked (for "multithreading") or most probably get no replies XD
On-Topic: To answer a few things, no i'm not in a relationship, it's just, well more or less standard situation things (i'll try to think of a way to explain it in a line or so) and OTNC, 16. Going 17 soon.
Uhh... ok, i understand that in relationships, you don't want to be touched sexually until your ready, but my problem more or less relates to just, standard situations and idiotic friends (to the point that i'll basically have gamecrow rubbing my leg more often than not, for no apparent reason) Heh... maybe i should of re-phrased it at the beginning, or made it clear at the beginning that it didn't include relationships XD I'm not gay with him, nor is he gay... i think, but he's had girlfriends. Also, the fact that he continually touches my leg, or rubs me, creeps me out, and also ALOT of people assume i'm gay (from first assumptions)
Gah... too hard to explain, to TRY and put it simply, people assume i'm gay, so i don't act gay, has an adverse effect and makes people think i'm gay, GC starts tourturing me with the touching, i tell him to f off because it's creepy and i'm insecure, and then it bugs me for about a week or two from him saying that. To add onto that (i can't believe i'm about to say this) it isn't like i've had SOME gay thoughts, BUT i don't ever feel attracted to men (one more reason him saying that bugged me)
Off-Topic & Additional comments: So much writing... sorry for hurting anyones eyes with so much text, thanks for 1 upping this popeye, i think i'll leave it to the eyes of the board, don't like discussing in private XD And uhh... oh yeah, Bavan, he's lucky to have a friend like me because he can tourture me in so many ways XD (and if you've seen me on the board, you'll see i've got a stupid sense of humour, i made a story of me being drunk and befriending a god-damn dragon XD)
Also, CTHULHU!!! *hugs* YAY! (i HAD to XD)
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I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
And I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
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06-27-2009 18:06 |
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OTNC
OrangeMöd
Registration Date: 06-01-2009
Posts: 381
Location: UK
Race in game: Cultist
Clan: V-13/BoS
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To be honest, i used to be similar
Im the same age as you (17 soon also), but now ive been in a relationship for 5+ months, its eased me up alot.
As for GC, you'll probably want 2 get him to stop.
If it was me, id go for the sarcastic/joke approach: i.e. touch his leg back and give a seductive 'Heeeey', then laugh it off and situation over. Or, the make GC look gay/w/e approach: i.e. 'lol gay', 'haha didnt know u swung that way mate' etc.
By reacting in a 'shiver dont do that' manner, its probably going to make him inclined to repeat, as its clear it rubs you up the wrong way.
(pun intended.)
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06-27-2009 18:24 |
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Pops
moderator...apparently
Registration Date: 10-22-2008
Posts: 652
Location: england
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: BoS
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in my experience if you play to it it freaks them out and they dont tend to do it again
im 19 and i frequently go down the pub. one of my mates acts pretty camp but he has a girlfriend and kids and he jokes all the time. he acts pretty camp at times.
next time he does it try saying "oooh darling, i never thought you felt that way"
(works better and creeps them out if you look into their eyes when you say it)
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No, you didn't imagine it, I DID just go there
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06-27-2009 20:59 |
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M Nortorious
Junior Member
Registration Date: 06-19-2009
Posts: 11
Location: Mexborough
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: BK
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| quote: |
Originally posted by popeye2k8
in my experience if you play to it it freaks them out and they dont tend to do it again
im 19 and i frequently go down the pub. one of my mates acts pretty camp but he has a girlfriend and kids and he jokes all the time. he acts pretty camp at times.
next time he does it try saying "oooh darling, i never thought you felt that way"
(works better and creeps them out if you look into their eyes when you say it) |
Yes But That Can Alsoo Cause Him To Get Bullied As People Could Spread Rumours Of Him Being Homosexual For Sayng It Btw I Am Not Saying He Is
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06-27-2009 21:07 |
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foxy9
Lord
Registration Date: 06-27-2009
Posts: 274
Location: Wales (Llwyn-Y-Groes)
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: LIG + DASH
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| quote: |
Originally posted by M Nortorious
| quote: |
Originally posted by popeye2k8
in my experience if you play to it it freaks them out and they dont tend to do it again
im 19 and i frequently go down the pub. one of my mates acts pretty camp but he has a girlfriend and kids and he jokes all the time. he acts pretty camp at times.
next time he does it try saying "oooh darling, i never thought you felt that way"
(works better and creeps them out if you look into their eyes when you say it) |
Yes But That Can Alsoo Cause Him To Get Bullied As People Could Spread Rumours Of Him Being Homosexual For Sayng It Btw I Am Not Saying He Is |
That is true, just make him look gay and embarresed. O and another thing that might work, Try and get a girlfriend (Don't take this to heart just a surgesstion) I know u might be trying but if u did, then it might stop, just a suggestion
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06-27-2009 21:12 |
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TheRazorsEdge
Newbie
Registration Date: 06-23-2009
Posts: 0
Location: Port Vincent, LA
Race in game: Cultist
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Well...
I'm not going to beat the horse about the insecurites. Everyone has them, noone wants them.
However, there is a one hangup I'm having with the general consensus. Don't get me wrong, there's been alot of support and words of wisdom. My only fear is that something which has no place except where you want it (general gayness beyond the point of abstract thought, if you will) will remove or falter you're ability to enjoy intimacy on a friendly level. In other words, touching to generate, establish, and strengthen a connection between two people. Note: This is generally discluding erogenous zones. Expect any privacy play a violation unless otherwise inclined or specified.
Being, "gay," is a choice of sexuality and as such should be indiscriminate by nature. It's not cool when that line of choice is traversed into action with an unwilling participant, joker or admitted homosexual. I understand some of the people here feel that there's a certain element of gayness constantly around, flapping it's glittered wings even if noone would wear said wings. I'll just leave it you with the fact that I've dropped friends of great lengths over less, but really when it comes to your own comfort and well-being, I guess it depends on the value you chalk it as to whether it's worth it or not.
Bottom line, noone's going to change your situation for you nor communicate your dislike of it.
The only one in control (or out of...) is you.
p.s., props to the first thread I've seen worth posting in, even if it isn't neccesarily the most conventional. Forgive me if I missed a gem here or there, but I'm sure they're buried beneath the trade postings.
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06-28-2009 02:00 |
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darc
Viking
Registration Date: 01-17-2008
Posts: 691
Race in game: Absorber
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when i was your age i got called gay alot ppl thought i was even tho i had girlfriends (many of girlfriends) the trick is not to let it get to you. and how do you act gay???
ive seen straight men act more gay than what you might think of the sterotypical t.v gay man lol.
trust me you with find yourself when your ready.
and as for your insecruity you just like your space. when you meet someone you can open up to thats when you will drop your wall
dont feel rushed into anything.
and yeah pops is right if you play with it they usaully drop it pritty quick lol
or say have you ever thought that you fancy me coz you keep going on and trying to touch me lol 99% of the time its the ones that go on about it are the real closit gays.
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06-28-2009 07:05 |
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bobalob57
Viking
Registration Date: 12-16-2007
Posts: 505
Location: uk, cheshire
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: NIGHT
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the way ive always seen it is gay is your sexual orientation, and camp is how you act, for example, im straight, and have a girlfriend, but still act pretty camp occasionally, but thats just how i am[got a few wierd looks when i was in primark]
i know im repeating what others have said but hey, he is probably just teasing you, just take it as a joke an play along, and turn the joke on him, normally if someone does something like that to me i just say 'dinner and a movie first hun' which normally works quite well.
nothing wrong with it all, your a teenager, so its pretty normal to be a bit insecure about feelings and sexuel oriantation
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06-28-2009 22:16 |
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Vanargand
Forum Ace
Registration Date: 04-10-2009
Posts: 80
Location: Ireland(WOOT!!!!!!!!
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Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Endbriners
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I'm 18 now and i used to be the same but got into a good relationshipthats which is coming up to a year now and it changed me so much its unbelievable but just because your insecure doesnt mean your gay but i dont think you would know until you get into a relationship but most ppl just know if there gay by who there attracted to
its really a shame most ppl on the internet cant have a proper conversation it really is. i cant imagine what things will be like in the future
but if you want anymore advice or if you have any other questions feel free to pm me
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06-29-2009 00:42 |
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Raxis
Set Abominae
Registration Date: 12-12-2007
Posts: 1,168
Race in game: Beastmaster
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Nemazis don't worry about it. I still have those moments where I'm not sure, and I'm nineteen. Sometimes it makes me wonder if it's the reason I can't keep girlfriends.
But ask yourself, are you actually attracted to other men? Or is it just you are shy with women?
I don't know about anyone else, but I find it very offensive when people use gay as an insult.
And as for campness, I have my monets, most of my friend group has. Yet one of my friends is in fact gay, however you would not think it by the way he acts. One does not necessarily indicate the other.
Things change, so you will, and in the end you'll find out whether you are or not. but from what it seems you seem just insecure, which is perfectly natural.
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06-29-2009 02:32 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter
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Woulda replied earlier, but didn't know what to say, guess it's better that i waited.
Anyway, the homosexual thoughts bit, since everyone said that they "occasionally" drift onto them, kinda gives me some closure about well... stuff. I'm not attracted to men, it's just really annoying when all of a sudden a naked man pops into my head for no apparent reason, kinda sends my mind onto wild collisions with itself. And the rest (being the touching/insecurity) well... i think i'm gonna have to solve that my own way. As i said, i don't act gay, and i don't LIKE to act gay for any reason either (sorry, saying homosexual everytime is abit too much to type, plus i'm not using it offensively... i think) BUT, saying that, seems i'm gonna have to resort to it to make GC feck off from touching me for abit.
Now for off-topic bits and to answer a few things... Raxis, not attracted to men, and relaxed with girls.
Bobalob: OMG YOU SAW THIS THREAD!!! NUUUUUUUUUUU- Ah hell doesn't matter
Vanargand: Read the PM, and nice change XD
TRE (TheRazorEdge): Uhh... thanks? Guess your the serious type
And i had a joke for earlier relating to the thoughts bit... but i forgot it. My next post will most probably contain it.
Once again, thanks people, the touching i'll have to deal with in my own way (which will scare the shizniz outta him) and the gay thoughts bit mainly helped, so hopefully my mind will stop going nuts and being itself up because something weird popped in (well, the weird that DON'T usually happen, meaning i'm most probably still gonna have dreams about a dragon thats gonna kill everything and then make me it's personal biatch >_<)
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I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
And I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
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06-29-2009 02:51 |
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