 How i joined DARK and more stories. By DJ  |
Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
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| How i joined DARK and more stories. By DJ |
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Decided to write this after seeing lys's story (gave me the idea first) then seeing krafties story (in DARK's forum) since his was about how he joined DARK, i thought "why the hell not?" and made this within... ah hell it's at the bottom of it anyway. Anyway, enjoy, or gouge your eyes out. Do whatever. And if anything about swearing in it, well hell, i thought you was allowed to swear, and i stuck the type of reaction i'd actually have in it (yet i did kick some swearing out though, for the sake of not swearing in every sentence)
Lastly: Written in note-pad, there's no spell check in there, so whatevers spelt wrong, notepads fault (i ain't perfect, neither are you, and i cba getting a someone to proof read it, isn't like ima make another story about something)
Quick description of my vamp AKA me: 5" 11' (someone correct me if " = foot and ' = inches) dark skinned (meaning black), wearing camo coloured combat trousers, a black zip-up jumper. Weapon of choice: Bow, custom made for me, engraved with my name on it, also custom made arrows BY me usually make standard arrows, but i can also make petrol arrows (stored within the tip, hits, pierces, and slashes out and inside the wound) and flame arrows, but occasionally explosive. Quiver on back has several sections and pouches made for explosive arrows (will only ever carry a couple since like... they go BOOM, me no want boom on back)
Life of DJ:
800 years ago:
Before i became a vampire, i was just a simple teenage child, a mere human who's dreams and ambitions we're the usual type, become a boxer, a wrestler, or usually, the owner of the playboy mansion. But then on one fateful day, a group of bandits attacked the town and took many people, including me, hostage. To make matters worse, we found out afterwards, that they we're vampires... and they fed on us, one by one... making us fight for their bandit leaders entertainment, the winners having to fight each other, some even having to fight some of the bandits. Then they started killing the ones who were weak, and turning the stronger of the hostages to vampires, expecting us to be loyal to them. Fortunately, i was on of the ones who didn't die a painful death by the hands of those dreaded vampires, but once i was turned, i was forced to join their ranks. Thanks to the bandits, i got stronger, more
powerful than i could of been if i stayed a mere human, i almost thank them for turning me into a vampire... but one day, i decided to go and make my own life and leave the bandit stronghold. I tried, and they fought me, i knew i was no match for all of them, so i fled, into the wastelands, looking for a new
place to call my own.
60 years before i met "them":
After running through the wastelands for weeks, fortunately i found a place that i could call home, even though it was a battlefield, i still set up home there. The area had a giant tower in the middle, and a sign on the entrance to the city saying "Bloodwars. Enter, and you've sealed your fate" Despite the sign, i still entered, but since i knew i would HAVE to fight, i decided to trade my old rusty blades for my childhood love of bows. I trained myself in the arts of archery, mastering how to fire arrows off, make sure they hit dead centre of where i'm aiming, learned new techniques to me like firing off multiple arrows mid-air, and even making my own custom made arrows for "special" occasions, explosive arrows, and my favourite combination, petrol/flaming arrows, perfect to flambe those invading vampires that try moving in on your own terrortority. Thanks to all the hunts i went on, killing other vampires, sparing the ones who were a good fight so i could torture them again, make them suffer, i became much, much stronger than them bandits could ever of done, i even considered going back to them to rid the world of those bandits... but i stayed in the city, dertermined to get stronger, hunt for power. Eveuntually, my home became too small, too under-developed for me, not enough space, fortunately on one of my hunts, i passed by another vampires home, and decided i'd steal it. I scouted outside the vampires home for several days, planning on how to take them out, what i'd use to kill them, making sure i covered all bases, down to what colour their weapons were. After 9 days, i finished all my planning, and decided it's time to take their home and claim it as mine...
"So... i see this is your home..." I shouted down while strolling into her home.
"Yes, and your kinda invading my territority, get out before i knock you out" They screamed back.
"Heh... your out of your mind, i'm taking this place as mine now, but before i kill you, mind telling me your name, just so i know who i'm killing... it's not as fun killing total strangers"
"The names Lysandra, and i can assure you, your not leaving this place alive" She readied her scythe infront of her in a fighting stance
"Ok then... let's dance" I said while drawing an arrow from my quiver readying it on my bow.
I shot my arrow at her at lightning speed, while it rung through the air, and she deflected it with the end of her scythe, and charged at me almost instantly. I barely had time to jump upwards onto one of the buildings nearby "Oh this is gonna be FUN!" I ran across the buildings, firing volleys of arrows at her, while she dodged each one, running the same direction as me, jumping up onto the building and swinging her scythe at me. As i jumped backwards, i felt it slash through my chest, leaving a small cut, which after several seconds expanded about an extra foot across my chest, became an inch wider, and spurted blood.
"What the fuck? Did that just get bigger?"
"I've got more tricks than you can handle" She chuckled
"Yeah? Well fuck you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, pulling one of my explosive arrows out of the side pouch in my quiver and fired it at her before she could blink. She jumped upwards, and dodged the arrow, but BOOM! The explosion sent her skywards, vunerable in the air, I fired arrow after arrow up at her, while she deflected most, some slamming into her arms and a couple in her chest. As soon as she landed, she dashed at me, swinging low with her scythe, i jumped, and just as i left the ground, i saw a smirk on her face, and a shilouette of her scythe struck high, hooking into my arm as i went upwards, her dragging it downwards, causing a massive gash to appear in my firing arm. "BITCH!" I readied another arrow, but felt a shooting pain through my arm, feeling pure agony as my blood drained from my own body, onto the dirt. "Told ya i got too many tricks" I felt my own body weakening, and i knew i had to finish the battle soon, never have i fought such a strong opponent... but from the volley of arrows shot at her from earlier, i saw one still stuck in her, my petrol arrow. "Time to end this..."
"Are you crazy? Your bleeding like a madman, and your STILL trying to fight? Good job, but as you said, time to end this, guess this'll be goodbye" She ran at me, scythe above her head, pure anger in her eyes, readying herself to slice my head off.
I pulled three arrows out of my quiver, 1 explosive, one flaming arrow, and another fuel arrow, and i waited for her to come closer to me... aiming at her... When she about 5 metres away from me, i fired my arrows, not at her, but at the ground infront of her. "HAH YOU MISSED!" She laughed while jumping back through the air. I grinned "No i didn't..." The explosive arrow hit the ground first, breaking the fuel arrow apart, sending it's petrol everywhere, including into my flaming arrow, setting the petrol on fire. She stared down in shock as the flame cloud flew towards her, enveloping her in it, setting her on fire thanks to my previous petrol coated arrow. She fell from the air, landing on her chest, scythe several meters away from her, i kneeled down next to her. "Now whos home is this?" She was slowly losing conciousness, she just muttered "Bitch..." She was slowly losing conciousness, but i made her stay awake for my final words "If you wasn't such a good fight, i'd kill you now, i think you'll be my target practice instead... from now on, your mine." I picked her up, placing her into a small building nearby, sheltering her from the sunlight, keeping her alive so i could fight her again... if she decided to escape, fine, if not, another person who'll be fun to fight...
I went back the next day to check up on her, and saw no-one was there. Once again, peace setteled around me, but unfortunately it didn't last long, within weeks, i saw my target practice 'Lysandra' coming back, with about 30 people following her. She stopped just outside the barriers of my home, and shouted in "LAST TIME I WAS GOING EASY ON YOU, THIS TIME I'M GOING FUCKING OVERKILL, LEAVE! NOW!" This time the battle didn't last seconds, i was brutally stabbed, shot , and sliced until i could no longer breathe... just before anyone gave me the killing blow, she told everyone to stop, walked over to me and my brutally beaten body, and laughed. "Seems like it's my turn... but before you pass out, tell me your name... i never did catch it our last time..."
"DeathJam... and i swear i'm gonna kill you..." And the sweet embrace of darkness swept over me as i lost conciousness.
The day i met "them":
I left the city not long after the shameful defeat from Lysandra, decided i didn't want to live there after that happened, i also went and killed the bandits that turned near a quarter of my old city to vampires, but i left my brother in place of my home, within months of him taking charge after i left, he set up a whole gang base, and made a fighting force on the west of the city, incase any invaders came to ruin our homes. He said that once i came back, i could take charge if i wanted to, my last words before leaving the city we're simply "I'm a soldier, not the commander" After my travels around the world, i decided to come back and take my rightful seat in my old home, which bensux took care of, his base placed next to my home. Fortunately, while i was gone, my bloodthirst for fighting had died down, it was still there, but was only really used for defending myself, and bensux, if it was necessary. As soon as i got back, i was greeted by gunshots to my feet at the barrier of my home.
"WHAT THE FUCK BEN, IT'S ME!" I screamed at him from the sniping tower he took place in, and mumbeled "dumbass..." Another shot hit just behind me between my legs. "I HEARD THAT JAM OF DEATH" I walked into my old home, through the old wodden doors, and was greeted by a hug from my brother. "JAM OF DEATH!" He was slightly smaller than me, almost a twin of myself, turned a few days after me, by me. He wore a plain black jacket, with tracksuit trousers on, with his hunting strapped onto
his back, and all his bullets wrapped around his waste. He was the best gunner i knew, including all the other vampires/humans i've fought. He tried teaching me to use guns once, but i hit him in his shoulder, strangely, he kept that jacket, and the scar from the bullet wound is still there, along with the hole in the jacket, for some reason that seems to be the one and only vampire wound that he's got that hasn't healed, almost as if he didn't care if it healed.
"Will you stop calling me that for gods sake?"
"Why jam of death?"
"I'm gonna shove that gun up your ass in a minute" I said, with a hint of anger in my voice, but also just to mess with him.
"Please do" He giggled and turned around facing his butt towards me.
"Oh you bloody freak" I backed away. "Anyway, what's happened since i've been gone"
"Oh, just the typical 'let's go kill some vampire' people"
"Stupid dumbasses... anyway, you got any better at aiming your gun?"
"Well i could hit you from a mile away, since your head is so huge" He laughed again, and everyone in the base laughed with him, i just simply frowned.
"Har de bloody har... be serious for once" I said with a hint of frustration in my voice.
"Well look through your trousers" I looked down, and saw 4 bullet holes right below my crown jewels. At the moment i exploded.
"YOU ASSHOLE, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! NO SANE PERSON DOES THAT" Bensux burst into fits of laughter "Comon, you've gotta admit that was funny"
"You ass..." And a smirked came across my face, my brother just grinned that i was back to my happy self. "Oh yeah, DeathJam, i forgot, some weird pasty guy came looking for you, alot more friendly than the usual peeps"
"But... i don't know anyone here, well except my targets which we're fun to mess with, it was always fun impaling them with multiple arrows... Lysandra, was defo my BEST fight ever... i wonder where she went"
"Oh yeah, the guy said he might be able to help you find her"
At that moment, i ran out the doors srinting towards the middle of the town, trying to find the guy, bensux popped his head out of the window, screaming "I DIDN'T EVEN TELL YOU WHERE TO MEET HIM!!!"
I waited outside a brothel for my metting with the person who claimed they'd lead me to lysandra, oh how much i wanted to fight her again. Several hours went by, and i eveuntually got bored of waiting, so i rubbed my hands together and decided to wait somewhere else... "This guy is taking FOREVER! Can't be asked waiting anymore. For the rest of today, i'll go looking for some PUSS-" At that moment, i heard a thud behind me, and someone burst into laughter "Who the hell is that?"
"OH GOD, YOU CRACK ME UP, YOUR NEVER GETTING A GIRL WITH THAT TYPE OF ATTITUDE!!!" He bellowed out between laughs.
"Aaaaand mightyoubetellingmewhoyouarenowASSHOLE?" I swung around to stare at a huge figure, about 6" 8', wearing a grey trenchcoat, covering up the sides of his face, two daggers holstered on his side, while a leather strap was wrapped around him to his back, with a hunting rifle loaded and ready to fire at any moment. His trenchcoat hung almost down to his feet, and he had another smaller dagger hidden at the base of his leg. His laughing slowly calmed down, while i stood there, contemplating if i should impale an arrow into him.
"I'm Lestat, the guy who's gonna help you find Lysandra, and your DeathJam, or Jam of death as your brother likes to call you"
Shock covered my face as he said that. "What the f-"
"Yeah, that's most peoples trail of thought when i do that, i'm kinda psychic, and trust me, you ain't getting that arrow in me" Laughing the whole way while saying this.
"Ooookay... you scare me... anyway, how exactly you gonna help me find Lysandra?" I asked with curiousity
"Simple, she's my sister" He said triumphantly."
Confusion took over from then on. "Aaaand... you expect me to believe that you, her BROTHER, is gonna help me find and kill, or at least beat the living crap outta your sister?"
"Uhh... no, that wasn't the plan, but you can try, and get whooped if you'd like" He couldn't stop grinning while saying this, almost as if he was picturing the battle and outcome in his head, me being beaten flawlessly.
"Then what exactly WAS you planning?"
"Oh... well this and that, you know, go out, get pissed, bring you back to her, she kinda needs some help, wants to re-vamp the city, and we kinda need people like you, since you most probably know her best, well other than me"
"Wait... i fought her once, how the hell is that knowing her? All i know is she uses a scythe, and most probably got stronger while i was gone... and also, she has some mighty fine b-" I said while slowly slipping into my imagination.
"STOP. THAT. THOUGHT. THERE!" He wailed out in fear. "I DON'T NEED TO HEAR, NOR SEE THIS! STOP THINKING OF MY SISTER LIKE THAT!"
I stood there zoned out, drooling, when all of a sudden i felt a thwack against my head, and i fell on the floor onto my back. Once i looked up, i saw the butt of lestats' rifle aimed at me. "Was that really bloody necessary?" A hint of laughter in my voice as i pushed myself back up.
"Well as i said, i REALLY don't fancy seeing your fantasties of her in your head, and anyway, you've got it wrong, shes got more meat on her" Once again, he grinned, almost seeming happy that he knew this about his sister.
"Should i be scared that you know this?" I laughed while taking a step back.
"Shaddap and come with me, before i hit you again" One final laugh came from him, as i decided to follow him, still wondering what is planned, but ignoring the doubts in the back of my mind. I had a feeling he wasn't as bad as he could be while being related to lysandra, i just hoped that she was still bloodthirsty for revenge once i got there...
As we walked over to where Lestat and Lysandras base was, we became more friendly, and i eased up the grip in my hands, starting to trust him alot more than before, i was still ready for some sort of betrayal, but i had nothing to lose, and i know my brother could help if needed, fortunately the sniper tower he was holed up in looked over most of the city, and had his eye tracking me incase anything happened. Once we arrived, Lestat opened the door to the base. The place was actually well decorated for a base to keep themself safe from other intruders. "Lys, come 'ere for a sec, got a new helper monkey" He laughed while i just glared at him, afterwards diving through the doors, stamped my feet onto the ground, about shoulder width apart, and screamed "HEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!" With pure anger in my voice, ready to fight her again, wanting to make her feel the pain from last time we fought 1 on 1.
"No your names DeathJam you idiot" Laughing while purposely screwing with my plan.
"Don't kill the frigging mood, ah god i wish i stuck that arrow in your shoulder now" All my anger seeped out from me, and i couldn't help but laugh at his joke. "Ok then, DeathJam here, that asshole you took your home years and years ago, i want a re-match, 1 vs 1, now." All of a sudden i felt a cold breeze blow against me, and all of a sudden, the icy cold feeling of metal against my neck "I win..." She whispered in my ear as she stood behind me. Lysandra stood tall, nearly 6" 2' wearing an open jacket, with tight matt black leather trousers, her scythe held against the front of my neck, as she stood behind me, prepped to slice at my throat if i did so much as twitch wrong. "Sis, calm down, he's here to help us" Lestat laughed lightly while resting a hand on her shoulder.
"Oh godithinki'mgonnawetmyself" I shuddered at how easily she got behind me, without even so much as a warning, with her breathing heavily down my neck, trying to hold herself from killing me on the spot.
Lestat burst into laughter, holding himself from falling over. "Your a sissy DeathJam"
"Well how about we trade places you ass, it's not that nice having a freaking scythe at your bloody neck!"
Lysandra lowered her scythe while stepping away from me, just staring at me, blankly. "Your that guy who stole my home years ago, i was just checking out the area, and the locals back then, seeing if there was anyone worthy of joining mine and Lestats family, and you kinda went and screwed with my plans. Anyway, i was going easy on you back then, there's not many who can beat
me in a fight"
"How about we have a 1 on 1 then, this time no sneak attacks?" I readied my bow again, jumping back a few feet, prepping an arrow to fire.
"No thanks, busy at the moment trying to fix this city. This city is in a giant mess, and i'm here to fix everything, get rid of the people who's ruining this city, and bring this city back to life."
She said with determination in her voice, which would made anyone who heard her believe her and join her fight, despite how hopeless it could seem.
"Well if your so strong, and i can only assume your brother is strong aswell, then whydya need me? You coulda just slit my throat a second ago" Confusion in my eyes and voice again "And by the way, why the hell are you so damn big lestat? It's freaking scary" Lestat laughed again, at the fact i was scared at his huge size. "Well that's not the ONLY thing that's big on me" I stood there, staring at him blankly, then i burst into laughter, having to hold myself up from collapsing. "Yeah right, about as big as my little toe" I fell over, rolling on the ground laughing so hard that tears came to my eyes. I havn't heard anyone except my brother crack a joke in years, it was a first to me hearing other friendly voices. He leaned over me, with a frown on his face, and poked me with the sharp ends of his dagger, i ended up rolling onto it, and impaling myself on it. "AH SHIT THE PAIN" I got up and started running about trying to pull the dagger out of my side, while it was his turn to laugh crazily, along with his sister, about 3 minutes passed with us just laughing and messing about, when eveuntually they asked me simultaniously "Do you want to join and help us clear this city of the scum that lives here? And bring it back to life" I stared at them, contemplating if i should join, once again, i didn't have much to lose except my brother, but i could always get him to come and join us. I finally made up my mind. "Fine, i'll join, since lestat is so damn crazy, and funny, i havn't laughed so hard in years around anyone else... but promise me one thing Lys, i get to fight you again, 1 on 1. Obviously not to the death, just call it 'sparring'"
"Deal, but i promise you, you won't win, ever" Lysandra grinned, the same grin she had when we fought, the same bloodthirsty grin when we fought eachother for our lives.
"Oh... that's what you think" I gave her the same grin back, showing her, i was ready for the fight anyday.
I was on of her first members to join her clan to rid the city of the evil, and one of her most loyal members to this day. To this day, i have never beaten her, i'm still not in her league. If the off chance of someone trying to come and kill me permentantly, i will try and make sure before that happens, i have beaten her, just once. Ever since joining the clan, my bloodlust has left me, except for the fight against lys, and i decided to help any new vampires that joined the clan, instead of constantly trying to do stuff for my own personal gain.
This is my life, and this is how i joined DARK.
Editor notes: Uhh... written up within about 3-4 hours (kept stopping, ate dinner) written up in notepad since this crappy pc doesn't have word, and if anyone comments on this, give you TRUE comments, if you think it's truely shit/rather rub acid in my eyes etc. Just say it, idc if it's constructive or destructive, as long as i know what you guys think of it. Don't warn anyone who does say anything like "it's shit" please, it's their statement to me (despite it being rude)
Lastly, i'm only 16, never written a story in my life (except 1 that was 1 page long before for english coursework, doesn't really count) so take that into account aswell, don't assume i'm a 30 something writer who makes stories on a common basis and had a giant muffin-up in this one.
DeathJam/bensux: Copyrighted by me, DeathJam XD
__________________
I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
And I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
This post has been edited 12 time(s), it was last edited by Nemazis: 03-26-2009 18:18.
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03-24-2009 23:10 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter 
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Forewarning: My stories suck, i ain't a story-writer, i'm an extremely bored teenager.
Remember, bob, it might suck.
Dragon hunt: Starring Xtf, guardian2099 (Guardian), chris0150 (Chris) OMGitsALex (Alex) and black dragon.
Co-starring DeathJam (that's me =D) bobalob, and battleox
Expo report it's based off of (might not of been a win, but still made it fun)
The dragon slowed down to a stop and landed on the ground, the instant it landed, Xtf fired another shot, piercing through it's right eye, blinding the beast. Guardian behind the dragon, Xtf infront of it, it couldn't decide which one to attack, and hesitated for a moment, and in that moment, Xtf took a chance and fired another shot without letting the heavy gun down, arms losing their strength holding the gun up for so many shots in a row. The bullet hit true, ripping through the joint of the dragons wing and body, making it extremely painful for the dragon to move the wing, and then Xtf fired his fourth shot in a row, and almost collasped with his gun in hand. The 2nd bullet hit the other wing, once again causing the dragon agony, blood flying out of the joint in the wing. Xtf placed the sniper onto his back, relaxing his hands for a moment, and then looked at guardian, who seemed to catch onto his plan. Guardian grabbed the last of his shurikens and aimed at the skin between the dragons wing and threw each shuriken at the skin, ripping through it. Although it didn't hurt the dragon, it stopped the blasted beast from flying at them again for the battle, stopping it from catching them off guard. The dragon realised what was going on, so it span around and swung it's claw at guardian, hitting him and sending him flying to his side, hitting the sand and rolling, but getting back up, but it also extended it's tail and whacked Xtf from the ground, the first hit on him in the battle, ribs breaking within contact with the tail, flying sidewards and landing on his back, sniper breaking the fall.
The dragon dashed at the fallen guardian, who was weak from the several hits he already took, and knew he was going to die soon. As soon as he saw the dragon coming at him, he pulled out one of his hidden daggers from his foot, and ran at the dragon, about to take it on at close range. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Xtf screamed, trying to get up, and coughing up blood in the process. "TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!" He continued to run at the dragon, as it got closer, Xtf staring in shock at guardian risking his life for him. As soon as he was close enough to the dragon, he threw the dagger at the dragon with all his strength as the claw hit him, knocking the last breath out of guardian. The dagger stabbed into the dragons lower abdomen, and jammed itself within the skin, a piece of cloth hanging off of the dagger, clearly seen by Xtf. At that moment, Xtf went berserk, pulled the sniper off of his back again, forcing himself up, and aimed at the dragon, firing another shot, hitting it just below the dragons own ribcage.
"3 PEOPLE HAVE SACRAFICED THEIR LIVES JUST TO MAKE SURE I DIDN'T DIE, DESPITE ME BARELY KNOWING THEM!"
He fired another shot as the dragon ran at him, this time hitting it where the very first two bullets hit, making the bullet explode again, sending more shrapnel through it's body.
"3 PEOPLE, WHO DIDN'T EVEN NEED TO HELP ME, YOU KILLED MERCILESSLY!"
He fired a 3rd shot, this time aiming at the dagger placed within the abdomen of the dragon, placed by guardian. The dagger exploded once the bullet hit it, blowing the dragons stomach open, as it reared it's head back roaring out in agony.
"FOR KILLING THESE 3 PEOPLE, I'LL MAKE YOU SUFFER THE WORST FATE KNOWN BY MY HANDS!"
Xtf fired one more bullet, hitting the dragon where the hole was blew open, hitting it's actual stomach, clear liquid spewing out onto Xtf as he jumped backwards into the air, sniper by side. "What the hell is thi- ARRRRRRRRGHH" The acid burned through his skin and clothes, almost as if it was weilded to his skin, burned onto him, as some of his skin dripped off. The acid quickly evaporated off of him, but as his eyes we're closed from the pain, the dragon swung it's claw upwards at him, hitting him through the air.
Xtf flew through the air, and landed on the ground with a thud, the whole time the dragon following him while he flew. As soon as he hit the ground, his sniper slid away, he reached for it and felt the dragon slam it's claw down on his body, making one of his ribs pierce his lungs. The pain was unbearable for him, and he struggled to reach for his sniper. The dragon pushed down even harder on his body, making him wail in pain. Determinded not to lose, he quickly reached for the sniper, swung it upwards at the dragon, and shot it in it's jaw, where the shuriken was, and the dragon released it's grip on Xtf and reared backwards, he quickly fired another shot in the same place, ripping partically through the roof of it's mouth. But unfortunately for him, as he got it, it spun around, and hit him with his tail, beating the last of his breath out of him, he layed on the ground, looking upwards as the darkness took over his body, and muttered "no..."
From miles away, hidden on one of the sand hills, a voice is heard chuckling "I knew this was a bad idea. Comon, let's go get them." DeathJam and bobalob stood up from the hill where they watched the battle take place, staring down at the blood, guts, and carnage that happened. They ran to where the battle took place, and the dragon standing in the middle of all this carnage, with blood all over it's body, vampiric blood and it's own. It saw DJ and bobalob walking towards the battlefield, and roared as if to challenge them. "Bobalob, you grab Guardian and Alex, i'll get Xtf and chris, and some of that intestine... ooh that looks tasty..."
"Snap out of it you idiot" bobalob slapped DeathJam around the back of the head. He wore tight camo coloured jacket with combat shorts, and combat boots. Unlike most people, he used throwing knifes, something you'd expect a ninja to use. He had several hidden around his waste, and two belts strapped around his body with knife after knife in it. When he was human, he had a joy for throwing knifes, and joined the carnival as the knife throwing act, hitting balloons next to a person, he was so skilled with it he was able to hit an ant from 80 metres away, cutting it's body exactly in half.
"But... I'm hungry..." DJ Wailed as his stomach rumbled
"Well how about eat someone elses bloody intestines then, not a clan member" Bobalob said, anger rising from in him.
The dragon roared again, rearing it's head back, getting ready to blow fire at DJ and bobalob. DJ readied one of his arrows, longer than usual, with a bigger metal tip than before, the metal spear end alone being about 15 cm long, and aimed it at the dragon. "SHAD-DAP!" His arrow shot from the bow, ringing through the air as it hit the dragon in its jaw, piercing through the bottom, and up through the top. Bobalob then threw a knife at the dragons’ good eye, hitting it and blinded it. "Quickly, grab the bodies and the intestines, and don't sneak a bite" bobalob stated, aggrovated at my comment from earlier, and for firing at the dragon.
"Aww... you know me all too well" DJ just laughed, grabbed the body, and wrapped the intestine around himself, and carried them off with bobalob carrying guardian and alex over his shoulder, all the while the dragon is flailing it's claws, trying to strike us blindly, not even able to roar.
"We really should kill that thing, it's fucking torturing itself, and anyway, i think Xtf might be pissed if the thing that killed 3 clan members didn't die"
"Aw hell, do what you want bob, i can't be asked, and i'm sure he'd rather revenge anyway... your choice"
DJ and bobalob took the 4 bodies back to the well of souls, where they met Battleox, the clan leader, with a hunting rifle strapped to his back, and a holster holding two daggers on each side. He wore a shirt, with sleek black trousers, and matt black shoes. He always tried to look somewhat smart, which some people would make the mistake of assuming he was a weak buisnessman, but then they always ended up getting the sharp end of the dagger, or the blunt end of a bullet. No-one actually knows where he originated from, or what his human life was like, some people assumed he owned a huge buisness firm, but then was turned vampire by some cruel twist of fate, others think he dresses this way because he longed to become a businessman, but there's one thing for sure, you wouldn't want to get on his bad side.
"You two took long enough, what's their condition?" Battleox asked
"Well let's see... guts hanging out, some on the floor, lack of blood, broken ribs... to put it simply, they're well and truly fucked up" He stated the truth bluntly.
"Fuck, you could of suger-coated it" bobalob said out in frustration
"Doesn't matter now, time to bring them back, hopefully they won't do anything like this again" Battleox said flatly, but thry was all thinking the same thing. Bobalob and DJ rested them on the floor in the room, and battleox cut each one of their hands, digging deep, so their blood would pour out into the well as battleox started saying a string of vampiric words. "I hope these guys don't wake up in the same condition as you do DeathJam"
"What, you mean wake up screaming some kind of profranity? Like last time when i woke up threatening to dil-" DeathJam was almost about to burst from laughter.
"Please don't finish that sentence, i REALLY don't wanna hear THAT again" bobalob nearing a wail, covering one of his ears.
"I found that extremely funny to be honest" Now just grinning at bobalobs reaction.
"Well YOU ain't the one who was creeped the hell out of was you? What would you do if someone woke up saying that?" bobalob said, nearing a shout at DJ
"Touche"
After about a minute, the 4 of them woke up, two in extreme pain screaming out, Chris feeling a little empty, and Xtf with a violent gasp of air.
"So then... you guys awake then?" I said kneeling down towards Xtf
"Yeah... how did we get back here? And anyone know what happened after we left?" Xtf said staring up curiously, wondering how he came back when he had no sign of anyone but the other 3 being around.
"Hello? Me and bobalob, we're both hunters, stealth is our priority. Anyway, i knew it woulda turned out bad, and it did. You DIED, not passed out, so did the other 3, and the dragon was basically near death. To cut a long story short, bob blinded the bastard, i clamped the poor bastards mouth shut, and grabbed you lot and now your alive."
"Whoa... i thought i just passed out, i didn't feel near death... and you did that without getting injured in the process?" Xtf was so confused at that moment.
"Uhh... well you did basically kill the thing, hell 1 more arrow most probably would of killed it. Saying that, now it's most probably healed, breeded with another dragon... even though they're all male, and had babies... once again, even though they're all dude... i wonder where the hell them damn eggs came from?" DJ rambled on, eveuntually getting lost in his own thoughts.
"Did you kill that dragon in the end?" Xtf asked, jumping at DJ and pinning him down"
"Sorry, i ain't into that kind of thing" DJ laughed pushing him off "But no, it's alive and kicking, hell you can get revenge if you want. BUT, before you do that, have you learned anything from today?" Once again, the cheeky grin crossing his face.
"Uhh... should of i?"
"Well here's 2 things. 1. That was a dumbass move, no offense, from what you told me, it was a bad idea from the start, so don't do it again, at least take one other person who'll also kill the thing, be it me, battleox, bobalob, almerase... oh fuck the list, too many to list. and 2. Apples are good for you" DJ stood up at that moment, smiled and started walking away.
"What the hell does 'apples are good for you' mean?" Xtf sat on the ground in pure confusion.
"Ah god forget it, get up and let's go, so you can prepare your revenge for next time... i think dragons have an extreme hate for you from how many times you've died" They we're the last things i said as i exited the building, with bobalob and battleox following me, carrying alex and guardian, Xtf slowly getting up to go back to our clan home...
Chris looked down at his stomach, wondering why he felt so hungry.
"WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A GIANT HOLE IN MY STOMACH?!?!?!"
__________________
I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
And I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by Nemazis: 03-27-2009 10:18.
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03-27-2009 00:40 |
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Mortis
Emperor
Registration Date: 05-01-2007
Posts: 1,159
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: BoS exLead
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Finally got time to read it. Not bad for beginner 
Although I recommend some spell checking after posting.
__________________
"The brightest light is invisible. It shines through your deeds. And warms the universe."
"Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind."
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04-03-2009 21:07 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter
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GAH, SOMEONE REPLIED >_<
Anyway, sorry about no spellcheck, i'm lazy, and i had to write it up in notepad, DAMN NOTEPAD AND ITS INFERIOR WAYS!!!
__________________
I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
And I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
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04-04-2009 13:41 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter
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Randomness: Starring a piece of cake.
A lolly
Lotsa other stuff XD
If you manage to read this stupidity, and read to the end, i'm telling you now, i've got a very vivid imagination, and yes, unfortunately i did picture that while typing it >_< I also pictured the mace/male bit but ending in a very different way, including alot of mess >_<
Also, telling you now, wrote this from 1am/2am until 5am no break, while tired, and no planning, not writing from anything, SO DON'T COMPLAIN!
Wee i'm a dragon!!!
| quote: |
Originally posted by an idiot:
Wee i'm a dragon!!! |
QFS (Quoted for stupidity >_<)
Anywho, here we go, and once again, it's shitty notepad, since my pc is too inferior for microsoft word, hell i wouldn't be suprised if it froze and shut down midway through typing XD
And i havn't even planned on what i'm typing about, the only thing i'll most probably plan ahead for is if i should scratch my butt or not -.-
Something stupid:
One day, Me and Bensux was walking around the vampiric suburbs, exploring and scouting the area for any possible places to spar, hunt, have fun, or possibily even find an enemy stronghold, which for us, would be the most fun we would have, we decided to quickly go for a hunt of epic proportions, but things went wrong... horribily wrong... let's start from a few hours before the hunt...
8:00PM, 6 hours left:
"Hey DeathJam, what the hell you doing?" Bensux cried out from back in the bases main room, which had all our entertainment, ranging from games, to the personal human entertainers.
"Wondering about, i'm so BORED! Havn't done anything for days" I shouted back from the hallway, falling to sit on one of the chairs placed against the wall.
"Well then, whatdya wanna do?"
"Hmm..." I sat there for a minute, thinking what I could do, since I done almost everything possible for a vampire, except stay out in the sunlight for a whole day, and I was pretty sure that was one thing no vampire would plan on doing anytime soon. "Let's go kill a dragon, i don't care, if one dies, the other carrys them home, don't fancy bleeding like crazy out there"
Bensux walked out to the hallway and stood infront of me. "Whatever, i'll do whatever, but don't do it now, later, for now let's have some fun" He walked back out to the main room, beckoning me to follow. After a few minutes I was talking to the other vampires, having pointless conversation with a few, and interlectual conversations with the much older vampires. After a while, I got bored again, and decided to go out and explore, but within seconds of leaving, Bensux followed me through the doors.
"Your THAT bored?" He frowned at me as I looked back at him.
"Hell yeah, nothing to do nowadays" I sighed as I replied.
"Comon, let's find something to do then, maybe we'll find a bunch of people to kill because they pissed me off"
"Typical you, wanting to kill everything in sight" I sighed again at that reply and walked away from the base into the suburbs.
12:00AM, 2 hours left:
"Well... that turned out to be boring as shit, nothing to do outside." Bensux sat down, leaning again a building "Why the hell did you bring me out here?"
"I didn't do shit, you bloody followed me out you idiot" I said to him, raising my tone as the younger vampire continually aggrovated me. "Next time stay back home where everything is flipping safe and keep to your entertainment"
Bensux quickly changed the subject "Hey... i've never seen that store before..." I quickly flicked my head around to him, then turned to where he was focusing "Have we even been here before?"
"Whoa... you got a point, let's go check it out" I walked towards Bensux, helping him up, then quickly walking towards the shop.
As soon as we walked in, we was greeted by a blinding light, that forced Ben to squint. "ARGH IT BURNS!" I screamed out, clamping my eyes shut and covering myself with my arms.
"Well lookie here... two vampires decide to stroll into my shop at this time of night, fortunately for you this shop exists for your type" A well built, middle age man walked out from behind the table "Well then, whatdya want from here?"
"DIM THE LIGHTS, I CAN'T BLOODY SEE!" I screamed out as I attempted to squint, but the lights continued to hurt my eyes. Ben slowly opened his eyes and walked towards the storekeeper. "Dim the lights... it's not as bad for me as it is for him, but i can't see what's in here"
"Wait a minute then" The storekeeper walked into the backroom, and all of a sudden the room me and Ben was in became darker, much easier for us to see. "Once again, what can i do for you?"
"Whatdya sell?" Ben said to the storekeeper, preparing to kill him after he was done. I glared at him from behind, despite him not being able to see.
"I know what your planning, and from the looks of it, your friend there ain't gonna let you do it" The storekeeper grinned "Anyway, this here, is a liquor store, but not any liquor, it's made especially for vampires, extra strength so you can feel what it's like to have some fun again" The man smiled at us, both me and Ben gasped in shock as we saw the fangs in his mouth, showing he was a vampire like us.
"Drinks... for vampires?" I questioned "Bullshit" I turned in disgust and walked to the door about to leave.
"Don't believe me? Try it, free of charge, everything in here, is free, i just do it just so the vampires of this day and age can have some fun again without slaughtering mankind, or vampirekind as it so happens to be now"
"Sorry, don't drink." I turned back towards Ben, to see him walk towards the shelves on the side and grabbing one of the drinks. "What the hell?"
"Hey, just because you don't want it, doesn't mean the rest back home won't" Ben laughed while saying that, grabbing another load of drinks and giving them to the storekeeper to put into bags.
"That's more like it, the more you take, the better" The storekeeper grinned as Ben continued to grab another set of drinks from the shelves
"Wait a bloody minute, how the hell do we know you havn't poisoned these?" I switched as i walked toward the storekeeper, grabbing one of the drinks, opening it and sniffing it "For all we know we might just bloody sip it and die on the spot"
The storekeeper laughed "Hell, well if you don't trust me, give me any bottle, and i'll drink it now, infront of you" I went to the shelves and grabbed the first drink i saw, popped the lid off, and handed it to him, and then he proceeded to drink the bottle as if it was water.
"What the fuck?" Me and Ben said in unison. "Your downing it?" We stood there in awe as he finished it within seconds, completely unphased by the drink, immediately Ben went to the shelf and grabbed the same bottle, took one mouthful, and forced himself to swallow as his face showed pure agony "AH GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?" He screamed out after drinking it, shaking and spitting the taste from his mouth
"As i said, vampire drink, you'll have fun after drinking some of this" The man grinned again, as Ben took the bottle for himself
"I'm sure as hell keeping this" Ben laughed, then grabbed the bags and walked towards the door "Are you gonna help me with these or what?"
"What about the dragon hunt?" I said to him while walking towards the table, grabbing the bag "We've gotta go soon"
"We'll quickly run these back, then leave" Ben said, running out the door with me following behind him
"Fair enough, but no hanging around once we get there, grab what you need, and we leave" I shouted to him as I slowly caught up to him.
1:30AM - 2:30AM, before, during, and after:
"Ok then, we're here, grab what you need, and take this to the store room, also, split up the drinks we got now, if this drink affects us, it'll most probably kill the humans" I shouted to Ben as he ran down into the basement, as I went into the study to find BattleOx "Ox, me and Ben got more drinks, another vampire gave us it free of charge. Well blame Ben, he's the one who wanted it, and by the way, this stuff actually affects us, this shit is STRONG!"
"We all know that are bodies cannot taste or even be affected by those toxins in alcohol" BattleOx said while turning towards me.
"Don't believe me? Taste this" I threw a bottle towards him, which he grabbed midair. Then he proceeded to open it, sniff the content, and drink a little. Right after swallowing the drink, he coughed and took another mouthful. "Nowdya believe me?"
"Oh my god... you have to show us where to get this" Ox swung his head to face me, with a smile on his face.
"Don't worry, Ben will, but if your gonna drink all of this with everyone, wait for an occasion that's better for it" I said to him in a serious tone.
"Like what?"
"Hmm..." I rested my head in my hand "I know, this hunt me and Bens gonna do, kill a dragon, once we come back, you guys can party, i'll stay out of it since i don't drink"
"Fair enough" Ox said, frowning "You better hurry back after killing it, i wanna get started" Ox got up, and rushed up to me, shaking me
"Bloody hell, not being so sane for a leader are you?" I laughed as i left his grasp and ran back to the hallway. "Ben, i forgot, get my flask, you know i like to carry a bottle of water on me at all times, incase i get thirsty"
Ben shouted back from the basement "You never get bloody thirsty, why the hell do you want it"
"Because i like to bloody drink from it, so shut up and grab it!" I shouted back annoyed. "And hurry up, grab our guns, my flask, and lets go. Don't forget to fill the flask" I walked through the door and waited another minute for Ben meet me outside, which he threw my gun to me, and my flask, and we set off for the dragon.
As we walked towards the desert, i took swigs from my flask, it wasn't often that me and Ben went to kill a dragon, just us two. Everytime i took a swig from the flask, he stared at me nervously. "What's wrong?" I asked him.
"D-doesn't that burn everytime you drink a-abit?" He stuttered
"No, why?" I asked him again, more curious than before
"Well... i-i think i accidentally put hot water in the flask..."
"So? it cooled down most probably, hell i can't even feel heat in my throat anyway, remember, i bloody has fire jammed down my throat" I laughed as Ben eased up after my last comment. After 3 minutes, i felt everything start slowing down. "Whoa... what the hell..." I turned towards Ben, and felt everything swing out of place. "What in the hell..."
Ben turned towards me, and laughed. "Haha, THERE we go"
"Wha... WHAT DID YOU DO!" I shouted at him, diving at him but almost collapsing, just about grabbing his lower waist
"I put vampire tequila in your flask!" Ben smiled
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!" I pulled myself up to his face
"Meh, you said you was bored, so i done this"
"Bu... but... we're in a dragon hunting ground..."
"Nah, i lead us to a spot where one was killed recently, none'll be around here... so we're safe" Ben smiled, and stepped back and watched me stumble. After a few more minutes, the drink kicked in more, and i was thrown into a stupor, and i was basically a 1 man comedy show for Ben as i continually mumbled random jibberish. A minute later, a dragon burst from the sand. "Oh fuck..." Ben said under his breath.
"OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE CUTE WITTLE DRAGON!!!" I ran towards the dragon, falling over halfway, and once i reached it, i hugged it's leg. The dragon stood there confused staring down at me, trying to kick me off. "He's a bloody genius..." Ben said, readying his gun, as soon as i heard the click of the trigger, i ran back towards him and dived at him. "DON-DON'T KILL MY DRAGON! HE'S MINE!" I hugged his legs, constantly shaking against the sand throwing his aim off.
"Get off of me you drunken idiot" Ben shouted at me, now kicked his leg, as the dragon stood there staring at us, confused at if it should consider us as a threat and kill us, or just leave us for being two idiots. Ben shot a bullet into the air, startling the dragon, and then kicked me away from him. At that moment, i rolled over, got up, and ran towards the dragon. "Well then... if your gonna be a bad brother an... try and shoot my dragon... well then i'll-i'll just shoot you" I shouted back at him, barely balancing on both my feet, but as i pulled the gun up to aim, i shot it at the sand, scaring myself and making myself jump in fear. "OH GOD, SAVE ME JIMMY!" I screamed as i grabbed the dragons leg again, as it continued to stare at us confused. Ben put down his gun, not because he wasn't planning on killing the dragon, but because he knew that if he continued to even aim at the dragon, i would eveuntually get myself killed from either shooting myself, or being right underneath the dragon. He took a step towards me, and the dragon growled at him, Ben then backed away from the dragon and myself.
"YAY, thank you jimmy!" I shouted as i continued to hug it's leg and slowly slipped down onto the sand. The dragon reached down for me with it's claws, which made Ben run back for his gun. He quickly grabbed the gun and aimed it at the dragon, but was suprised to see the dragon holding me in it's claw, no harming me, as i layed there splayed out, drooling, hugging one of it's talons. I got onto my knees and lost my balance, falling off it's claw, towards the ground, and once again, Ben ran to catch me to stop me hurting myself, but the dragon caught me midair. "YAY FOR JIMMY!" I shouted out, and then i looked down at Ben "He's so kewl isn't he?" I smiled and started rolling about in it's claw, then eveuntually crawled towards it's arm and up it's body ontop of its head. "HUZZAH!" I shouted, pointing forward on it's head then laying back down, as the dragon just stood there, and Ben walked away "Fuck this shit, this is too insane..." At that moment, the dragon followed Ben, not attacking, just simply walking behind him. After a few second, Ben realised what it was doing and paniced "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!" Another minute or so passed as Ben stood there, staring at the dragon, which just looked at him. Ben took a step, and so did the dragon, and then he screamed up towards it "THIS IS TORTURE, IF YOUR GONNA KILL ME HURRY UP AND DO IT"
Still drunk, i shouted back down "Don't worry, jimmys a kind dragon, he wunt hurt you yesh he wunt" I rubbed the dragons head while saying this, and also rubbed my head against it's head, and it smiled. Ben saw the smile but thought the worst "OH SHIT IT'S GONNA KILL YOU!" He screamed up at me while grabbing him gun from his back. The dragon reached up to me, but then it prodded it, as i bounced off it's talon. "Heh... POKE!" I laughed and poked it in the back of the head, and then it prodded me again. I poked it one last time, and then fell asleep on it's head. "What the hell just happened..." Ben stood there confused, scratching the back of his head, wondering what to do next. Since he now knew the dragon wasn't out to harm us, he continued walking towards base again, but still nervous about the dragon behind him.
Once we got back to our shared home, he knocked on the door, and BattleOx answered it, only to see Ben standing there alone with a giant white figure behind him. "Hello Ben, I see you are back, where is DeathJam?" Ox asked, wondering why Ben would come home alone without me, as we all knew, dragons never gave us permenantly killed us, always temporarily
"Uhh... come out here and look for yourself..." Ben said, his face even more pale than usual, and fear in his voice. He pointed upwards, at which point Ox stepped out the door and looked up to see a White Dragon staring down at him, with me ontop of his head waving. "HIYA!!!" I slipped down a little, and the dragon lifted it's claw to stop me from falling, and pushed me back to a safer spot upon it's head. Bobalob heard us talking at the door, and came to see us.
"Hey what's going on, what up with both of you-" He stopped mid sentence because he saw us at the door, with me still waving upon it's head
"NO. FUCKING. WAY." Both of them said, both completely confused at this crazy stunt. "How, the HELL, did he... actually, don't even fucking tell me" Bob said, mystified.
"He's my pet, i named him JIMMY!" I shouted down to both of them. "Can we keep him? Huh? HUH?"
All 3 of their jaws dropped the moment i said that, they all stared at one, then the other, and then me. The dragon lowered it's head to let me come off of it's head, and as soon as i stood on the ground, i collapsed.
"You've got some explaining to do" Ox shouted at Ben "Why the hell is DJ like this, how the hell did he NOT get killed by a dragon, and why the hell is the dragon his damned pet named jimmy?"
Ben let out a nervous laugh. "Uhh... i put vampire tequila in his flask, he drank it. He hugged the dragon, and was protecting it with his life" then he mumbled "How he would of protected it, i don't know"
"Lastly, it followed me here, and i think he grew on it, or it grew on him... oh i don't bloody know" After he finished talking, they watched me stand back up and hug the dragons face, rubbing my head against the top of it's nose.
"Ok then, since all of that's answered, WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO WITH THIS DRAGON AT OUR DOOR!?" Bob screamed out, panicing "Ontop of that, if we did keep it, where the hell would it sleep, and what the fuck will it eat?!"
"Jimmy doesn't eat much, and he can sleep in my room" I said, turning back to them.
"And how in gods name would you know?" Bob shouted
"He just said so!" I laughed and fell on it's head again, and it lifted me back onto it's head, as it listened to the conversation below from tens of metres up.
"Oh comon... this is the craziest thing to happen to NIGHT for years, well since DJ came here to help, oh god was that day agony" Ox said in fear that hell would break loose again. "DJ, you sort this out, if there's 1 casualty, we're putting this thing down"
"Aye aye, cap'n" I shouted down, and laughed again, while hugging the dragon.
"We can't leave it with the name jimmy... that sounds stupid... someone think of a name..." Ben said, starting to think.
"Eragon, call it that, sounds a little bit more... dragony than jimmy, plus only dragon name i can remember... thank you films" Bob said, and laughed.
"Nuuu... we shall call this almightly sir, Drakkar. It's his name, he told me. But i shall nickname him jimmy, since jimmy is easy to remember, and he sounds cute with the name jimmy" I shouted down to them again.
"Oh this is too much, i'm going in, i need a drink..." Ox said, putting his hand to his head.
"Fuck this, i ain't being left out here with this moron" Bob sighed, following Ox
"Don't leave me with this idiot" Ben shouted, running in towards them. Leaving me, and Drakkar, outside in the night alone.
"Let's go, you can sleep out in the back for now if you want, and then i'll build you a nice little house" I said to Drakkar, while he stood there just wondering what he got himself into, but then he smiled at all the crazy antics that happened in one day, and just decided to go along with it all.
The next day: (what, you wasn't expecting the next day? I done all of this while freaking drunk)
"Oh god... what the hell happened yesterday..." I walked out of my room, with a massive headache, rubbing my head on the way down as i saw Ben, Bob, and Ox all talking.
"You... seriously don't remember?" Bob said, and then he laughed. "Well he's a really damn short story, Ben filled your flask with vampire liquoer, and then all hell broke loose, and now look out back" I followed Bob to the back of the base, and that's where i saw Drakkar, the dragon that i managed to befriend, while drunk, sitting out there waiting for me.
"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE!" I stood there, in awe, at the feat i've managed to do, while drunk. Drakkar Bent down towards me and nudged me with it's head, and i didn't even twitch, i was too confused at what i was seeing. After a few more nudges, i came to, and then Ox said "Your taking care of him, we had nothing to do with this"
"So then, when you gonna get started on this home o' mine? I don't like the cold"
"I said i'd do that?!" I almost burned into tear
"Said you'd do what?" Ox said
"Wow... they'll never believe you if you tell them."
"I can barely believe it myself..." I was on my knees at this point, head in my hands.
"What the hell you babbling on about now" Bob said, confused and aggrovated
"Don't worry, let's go explore" I looked up, and saw the dragon smile cheekily.
"What the hell is that dragon thinking about?" Ben said, staring up at the dragon in confusion.
"Oh this is gonna be one long day for me..." I said, collapsing onto the ground again
"Well the sooner we start, the sooner we finish!" Drakkar picked me up and lifted me onto it's head, then beat it's wing and took to the sky, flying low over the city, towards the plains, to find a good place to start exploring.
Random notes: Yes, this crap was spouted by me, the retard, and i was sleepy as hell (started at 1am/2am, i dont know, ended at 5am) and as i said, no planning whatsoever, just went along with whatever popped into my head. Sorry for bringing alcohol into this, first thing that popped into my head and the only way i could think of bringing a dragon into it, and befriending it. And uhh... it's a white dragon, it's a boy, and i ignored anatomy (since i was standing underneath the dragon, the last thing i want anyone to picture is nuts above my head, or if it's a girl, well... i'd most probably get banned if i even say it) and yes it can fly. And right now i dont know if i should make it telapathic thoughts it was doing, or just me being able to understand it's grunts/roars while drunk (saying that, if the 2nd one, it just means i wasn't translating anything it was saying at first)
Anything else to note? Oh ya, Drakkar, random name, just added onto the name "Drake" since that's just plain as hell. Will i write more stories? No i'm too stupid/insane/insanely stupid to write more, and if i do? Dunno if i'll include Drakkar the Dragon (lol sounds like a show, seems his parents wasn't too original)
Lastly, if anyone does read this, MAKE FEMALE EXPO BEASTS, it'll stop me wondering where the hell they all come from in the first place, and also, it'll give you abit more variety (if it's female, it doesn't really have a weak spot like male dragons do, because i'm pretty sure a well placed mace to the nuts would kill almost any vampire/dragon, with a female, you aim for the same place, and your losing your mace, saying that, you'd have to "kill" it in a much more different, messy way XD)
__________________
I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
And I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
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05-28-2009 05:29 |
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Hayz_M
Double Ace
Registration Date: 08-23-2008
Posts: 112
Race in game: Beastmaster
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oh LOL .. thats so retarded its funny 
i wanna pet dragon XD haha thats actually really good & the only one of your stories Ive actually attempted to read
...
one thing ..
WHY ARE THEY NOT IN PINK!
mwaha you lied to me you said you posted in pink all the time... liiies 
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| Unrelated: I bet the more i complain about everyone stealing MY PINK! the more everyone will steal it. And no way hayz, you can see i've been signed up for longer than you, and EVERYONE of my 500+ (guessing) posts are all pink, except 2 (my very first, and my rant) SO NER |
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05-28-2009 12:39 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter
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Oh thank god, i thought the person who replied was someone who like... uhh... likes good stories that make sense, like mortis (sorry, you seem like the high and mighty one, since your old, and damn strong XD)
Anywho, that was the point =P I did say i was bored and tired when i wrote this. And COMON, you can't blame me for not putting this in pink, that'd be a flipping strain to read XD
By the way, there is many other stories out there that are good reads, mine are amatuer at most (meaning the two i wrote properly) you can look for people like raziel and raxis (heh... 2 Rs...) or then you can go for the "OH MY GOD IT'S SO HUGE!!! *passes out" type story AKA Lysandra XD
My advise, do some training before reading lysandra, it's flipping MURDER!!! I say read all the stories in 1 sitting on this board before attempting to read hers, because hers is huge, and mind blowing (or maybe that's just me thinking that...)
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And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
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05-28-2009 22:12 |
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Mortis
Emperor
Registration Date: 05-01-2007
Posts: 1,159
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: BoS exLead
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Lol and thx. Yeah it wasn't bad
Actually I like it.
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"The brightest light is invisible. It shines through your deeds. And warms the universe."
"Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind."
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05-28-2009 22:15 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter
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0_o
o_0
Whoa XD, last person i expected to reply XD Well then, i guess that's thanks to both of you, somehow my crazy nighttime mind made me write a decent-ish story (which i shall still choose to believe it was completely and utterly stupidly crap, since i am pessimistic, or just enjoy nay-saying myself XD)
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I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
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And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
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05-28-2009 22:34 |
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Hayz_M
Double Ace
Registration Date: 08-23-2008
Posts: 112
Race in game: Beastmaster
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lmao
in reply to your signature .. your very first post
more stupid o clock stories \o/
I actually got to part 7 or 8 of Lysandra's story then I had to go do some stuffs & yeah fair play it'd have killed ma eyes
Next story I think you should include me & mortis somewhere.. just for liking your stories 
something cool though .. not us getting chewed up & spat out by some weird thing your mind thinks up
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05-28-2009 22:44 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter
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Ah, thanks, now to update my siggy XD And i don't think most of my stories will be o'clock stories (i hope not >_<) saying that, i've written 4 (3 on the board, and 1 which is genuinely too crap to post here, everyone agreed it was worse than usual XD)
And uhh... ok, i don't know what the hell i'd make you two wear, and the fact is i barely know you two except for the board (and as i said, because mortis is a veteran, he seems like he's high and mighty in my eyes, so that's 1 sorted, i guess you'd just be an insane woman who enojys killing stuff or something XD)
Oh, and i could come up with MUCH worse than you two being eaten up and spat out, saying that, if i chose to write that instead (which i havn't thought of) i would most probably get B& and carted off to the mental institute XD
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And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
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05-28-2009 22:51 |
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Hayz_M
Double Ace
Registration Date: 08-23-2008
Posts: 112
Race in game: Beastmaster
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LOL yeah pretty much summed me up
"insane woman that likes killing stuffs" XD if it helps Im pretty random too lols ..
Mortis? meh naa hes not veteran .. hes more like ancient
*only playing mortis dunt kill meeee 
*
Banned & carted off o lols .. I thought you was already there
I wanna see that "genuinely too crap story to post here"
lols should be funny
hurry up & write more
lols
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05-28-2009 22:55 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter
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Lol, ok then, well then i guess next time i get bored (meaning most probably tonight) and if i havn't got anything to occupy myself... *ahem* then i'll get writing/typing on the next randomness that pops into my head XD
And i think he's actually older than that... calling him ancient would make him feel like a baby XD
Oh no, i ain't banned and carted off YET, i'm holding onto the door frame really damn tight and typing with 1 foot, THEY AIN'T TAKING ME AWAY YET!!! And the genuinely crap story, sorry, that's staying in 2 places and 2 places only, my pc, and my mind, it seriously was crap (it took me 3 days to write that, and it turned out worse than my spontaneous 4 hour storys, backwards or what?)
And now, i shall stop replying as if this is small talk because chances are we're both breaking the rules now XD
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I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
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05-28-2009 23:13 |
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Lysandra
Viking
Registration Date: 01-11-2008
Posts: 531
Location: Canada
Race in game: Beastmaster
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Oh DJ... LOL. I love it, you made the dragon your pet while drunk...haha.
You're typing with one foot? That has got to be difficult.... and thanks for mentioning me as a good read. I think the double R's and Cth (who you forgot
) are better but eh, that's just me. Everyone thinks there own stuff is bad.
@Hayz: you know if you want I can send you an e-mail with the word file so your eyes don't fall out in reading the monster....lol.
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Former leader of the Family of Darkness.
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Originally posted by *GayTiger*
lys... that was amazing, it's pure orgasm on a page!
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05-29-2009 21:37 |
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Hayz_M
Double Ace
Registration Date: 08-23-2008
Posts: 112
Race in game: Beastmaster
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lols would you ??
would be so much easier than trying to find it at stupid o clock on the boards
Ive read a few of Cthu's stories never read the double R's or anyone elses either I dont think lols
Nemazissss should write more stories about silly dragons who secretely plan to eat him >=] :p
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05-29-2009 22:03 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter
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Lys: Oh yeah, i havn't read all of his stories (only one i've really noticed is his war diaries) but even they are nice and gory =P) And i don't think mine are bad, mine ARE bad XD And lys, you should know by now that i'm crazy as it is, while drunk i'm obviously gonna do something even more ridiculous.
Hayz: Nuu, my jimmy won't eat me (i hope) and writing like 20 more stories that have dragons eating you at the end? That'll be abit stale XD Anyway, i'd have jimmy to protect me XD
Hmm... maybe i should send Drakkar to you and make him eat you XD
EDIT: Why the hell did you click this lys? Isn't like i told you, or did you see loads more replies than usual? (or the fact it was bumped)
EDIT V2: Reply to my PM dammit >_<
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And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
This post has been edited 2 time(s), it was last edited by Nemazis: 05-29-2009 22:18.
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05-29-2009 22:17 |
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Mortis
Emperor
Registration Date: 05-01-2007
Posts: 1,159
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: BoS exLead
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lmao, guys, guys.. I am much more older than ancients
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"The brightest light is invisible. It shines through your deeds. And warms the universe."
"Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind."
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05-30-2009 21:23 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter
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Ok, preparing beforehand, go out and buy some acid (drugs or the liquid will do) because you'll need it after my next story. Also, i don't know what the feck to write, so uhh... a little help please, and writing about the same old COULD or COULD NOT happen (i might decide to throw in a little "I'm mortis, older than the world and gonna f#^% you all up" in, or for another character, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA" as beatrice swings her swords around... and with my minds version of diablo, it's basically the same thing, but imagine him with awesome face, flailing his arms and shooting XD (i'm sowwie pweez don't keel me T_T)
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I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by Nemazis: 08-31-2009 04:19.
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08-31-2009 04:19 |
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Nemazis
Lord
Registration Date: 04-10-2008
Posts: 354
Location: England, London
Race in game: Absorber
Clan: Badger
Thread Starter
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Started writing about 11am-11:15am until 1:50pm-2pm
Seriously, it was meant to be a 10 minute story. I thought it up while walking back home from college (reason i'm back this early? Massive bloody gaps in some lessons)
By the way, this was a 10 minute story, i was planning on making it about 2 paragraphs big at first, but a story with NO backing made no sense, so i gave it some. I think i went a little bit overboard XD
Last comment before the story: I have a DeviantArt (if you don't know what it is, it's a place for "artists" per-se) i posted one of my stories on there, and someone loved the dragon killing one. Seems he writes his own stories, including dragon torture, and masturbation. I know one of them, the woman (i think it was nina) tossed off a dragon for a bit, AND THEN decided to stab it with arrows/spears and swords and crap.
Story: No fighting... well not properly, just mainly my version of where the existence of the blood bags (or litres of blood) come from on BW. Also why cookies are bad for vampires
Revolutionising blood:
I watched the training hall especially made for other vampires to fight beasts, Drakkar helping them train by teaching the younger vampires to dodge his strike. Any time he did hit one, although the vampire would be hurt quite abit from the huge paw striking at them, or possibly crushing them, he never used enough strength to actually deal fatal damage, and also most people would leave after 1 strike, not wanting to shame themselves any further. Other vampires watched and made bets on who would last the longest not being hit, or who would go out first, even some people treated this training as a way to make money in the city. Humans would occasionally join in on the bets, but overall, it helped spread the money out, aswell as improving everyone's speed and reflexes.
One day, i decided to join some of the vampires training, and try to help them work together. Bobalob came in and saw not too long afterwards, and decided to help, along with purposely annoying me just for the heck of it.
"Mind if i join you guys?" Bobalob shouted from the doorway.
"Sure, we need another victim" I shouted back as he walked towards the middle of the hall, where me, miss evil, and a few other newer vampires to the city were training.
"Another victim? Yeah right, i'll throw you in my place if i'm about to get hit" Bobalob chuckled.
"Neither of you got anything on me though" Terjohnny shouted out loud despite the fact we was all together in the middle of the room, and
grinned. Miss evil poked him in the forehead and he fell onto his back.
"Yeah, your pretty good aintcha?" Bob laughed as johnny stood back up, rubbing his backside.
"As long as we can help you improve, it doesn't matter how good you are now, because you'll be much better and stronger later" Miss evil said, nods from everyone came around the room, including Drakkar.
"Words from the wise one i see" I giggled as i said it, miss evil nudged me for being sarcastic, and we both laughed.
"Whatever, let's get this show on the road" Bob said, eager to show off his skills. I started to walk forward, and bob put one of his feet out and tripped me up, making me land flat on my face. "Watch ya' step" He burst into laughter as i got back onto my feet, nose bleeding from the landing.
"Oh... it's on!"
For almost an hour, we worked together, trying to build our teamwork, help improve more of the new guys strengths and weaknesses, and improving our reflexes from attacks by sparring with each other, and occasionally going back to Drakkar to improve how much pain tolerance we had. We was all working together excellently, in all the training, but we went back to Drakkar since it was the most fun, and still useful.
"Last time and i'm off." I said to the slightly smaller group. Some people left because they was already tired, others had plans. "Drakkar, go as strong as you want, 'cept on the new guys, don't wanna kill them do we?" Drakkar roared and put one of his paws out, signalling the countdown to the start. Soon after we started, we dodged, jumped, and rolled out of the way of as many tail swings, paw swings, or paw slams as we could, and signalling when other people we're gonna get hit.
"Evil, behind you!" Johnny shouted. She spun around and quickly rolled out of the way, luckily going underneath the dragons wrist.
"Johnny, tail swing!" I shouted as he jumped in the air, skimming his foot as he lost his footing on the landing.
"Above you DJ" Bob shouted, but unfortunately i looked up too late, it was soon about to slam down on me. I covered my head with my arms as i looked up.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Drakkar stopped dead in his tracks
"What the hell was that? You scared i was gonna kill you?"
"HOLY SHIT, IT'S FEEDING TIME!!!" I darted towards the doorway as they looked at me in confusion.
"What's his deal with feeding time?"
Almerase stepped into the room, looking about to see what was happening. "What the hell noise was that a minute ago?"
"DJ screamed NOOOOO at the top of his lungs and darted out the room, going nuts about feeding time" Miss evil said, walking over to Almerase.
"Ah... fair enough" She turned around about to leave the room when Bobalob grabbed her shoulder.
"Fair enough? What the hell does that mean?" Bob demanded
"He's had... a very strange metabolism, since i knew him in DARK, for some reason if he gets hungry, he could randomly pass out" Almerase stated in a serious tone
"Yeah we pass out when we're hungry aswell" Bob said, annoyed
"True, but that's only when we're extremely hungry, he could pass out any-time when he JUST starts to feel hungry, meaning he has to keep himself filled"
"Wow... he's pretty fucking boned then ain't he?" Bob laughed, but became serious soon afterwards
"He's survived with us all this time, i doubt he'll bite the dust any-time soon because of it." Almerase then left the room, leaving everyone else to continue with whatever they wanted.
"Well then... what now?"
I sprinted into the room full with humans, dread on their faces as they knew what was coming. This was the feeding room, many humans waiting to be fed. Although we never took enough to kill them, they still dreaded the time it was coming, the pain of the sharp fangs piercing their flesh was agony for them to even think about. Occasionally some would ask to be turned, but once we told them what a vampires life was like, they almost always withdrew their request. As i walked in, there was only a few people left that didn't look drained of energy (u see wat i did thar?) I ran up to one of the women, and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her body up against mine."My love..." I said to her passionately, i felt her heart beat faster as soon as those words came from my mouth. I didn't actually know the woman, it started off as a joke with Bobalob when he dared me to say it before feeding on someone, and it became somewhat of a habit to say to any woman i feed from. As i started to descend onto her neck, one of the surgeons busted into the room.
"HELL-SPAWN, STOP THIS INSTANT!" Me and the few others in the room glared at the surgeon, unfortunately we got the one who refused to actually call us by our names and constantly say hell-spawn. For some reason he refused to accept we was once human aswell.
"We surgeons have something to show you, something that will REVOLUTIONISE your feeding." With that, he left. Me and another new guy, Slomka, followed on, i brought the human woman along with me for her own safety, because the 3rd decided to stay and feed, taking the ones we was going to feed on. He had a hunger hard to satisfy, saying that, he was one of the more recently turned, the hunger was always stronger and harder to resist in the young ones.
Me, Slomka, and the human lady followed the surgeon, the walk took about 10 minutes, so i started talking to the human and had a casual conversation with her. I learned her name was Jenny. Slomka also talked with us, and asked certain things, like what life is like after living for hundreds of years, and told us about his old life. We reached our destination, which happened to be a new building recently built by the humans.
"THIS, is the answer to all the feeding you demons need" The crazy surgeon shouted at the top of his lungs as we walked through the doors. I didn't understand how this could of answered anything, while Slomka at least understood what the place was.
"Oh, a new hospital, but how will that help?" Slomka questioned the surgeon
"What the hell is a hospital?" I shouted, angry that for once, something that happened that was in my control, but i didn't understand it a single bit.
"A hospital is a place where you treat the ill, and make them better. It'll also help the survival rate of some humans that are ill" Slomka said, showing off his knowledge.
"Ah, but another good thing about this place is that we can use it to donate blood." The surgeon said creepily, grinning underneath his face-mask.
"Now THAT'S my language!" I said, finally understanding them.
"Wait, you didn't know what a hospital was?" Slomka questioned me, surprised that an 800 year old vampire didn't know of one of the more essential buildings.
"I've lived here for the past 400-500 years, most every human around here is born in this city, it's not safe enough for humans to travel. So knowledge like that only comes from either the surviving cities where vampires are the minority, or vampiric cities which are progressing and becoming bigger."
"Fair enough, hospitals have only been around for the past 200 years" Slomka said, surprised that for my age, i didn't travel.
"How young are you again?" I mumbled, but Slomka still heard me.
"Vampire years, about 90 years, if i was human, about 120" Slomka said back, embarrassed he was so young compared to the rest of the vampires.
"Wow... well if we're going by human years, your more superior, i was only 16 when i was turned" I laughed back, Slomka laughed aswell and jenny stared at me, surprised i was so young for such an old vampire.
"Enough of this banter! Do you want to see how this will work?" The surgeon shouted. He was very anti-social, so conversation around him angered him extremely, his only passion was his work.
"Bah, show us then." I growled back
"Well then, here you go" He handed me and Slomka a plastic bag, full of red liquid.
"And you've given us another useless thing" The growl got louder
"This is a bag of blood, you insolent fool!" The surgeon snapped at me "A full litre of it is held inside every bag. Humans come here and donate some blood which we store in these bags. It's alot less painful than what you monsters do to them, and they recover alot quicker" A glint came into the surgeons eyes "With this, we can produce at least 4 times the blood you drink per day, and on-top of that, this is alot more efficient since you can drink it any-time you want with ease. You can feed whenever, and on however much you want." The crazy surgeon started laughing, quickly turning into a cackle.
"OK, FUCK, WE GET YOUR POINT!" I shouted, covering my ears from the horrid laughter. I looked at Slomka, as he ripped a corner of the bag off, and drank the blood, gulping it down, finishing it soon after opening it.
"This is a HELLLOAD easier than feeding" He said, motivating me to try it. I tore off the whole top, and poured it into my mouth, some splashing onto my face and running down my neck.
"Aahhh... that's refreshing... tastes a little bit bland though" I said, with a hint of disappointment.
"Well you can either sprint to the feeding room all the time for more painful feeding, which is a race to get there before someone steals them all. Or you can drink slightly bland blood, without the race, where-ever you want." The surgeon said sarcastically.
"I choose the bags thank ya' very much" I said back cheekily. "Oh well, i'm off, i'll tell all the humans that they won't have to suffer the pain of our fangs anymore unless ofcourse a vampire or two are being bitchy." I said, leaving through the doors we came in from, going back to the special training room, taking another bag of blood with me and draining it, this time by biting straight into the bag.
A few days later, i see many of the humans walking about, eating cookies, although those humans are a little bit more tired than usual, it was nothing compared to the feeding times we had where some would collapse, and even die if someone went overboard.
"Hey dude" I shouted to one of the humans "Where did you get that cookie?"
"The guys in the hospital gave it to us, it's meant to help get your blood sugar back up or something after they take our blood. Oh yeah, and thanks for not tearing into our necks everyday. Theres still about 4 guys doing it though"
"Yeah... they're fresh vampires, or they might like blood straight from the person, it's a little bit more tasty, partly because of pain, but mainly because it hasn't been stored in plastic" I said back, laughing, while he just stared at me blankly. "It was a joke... oh dammit, forget i said anything"
I go back to the hospital, and see the crazy surgeon leading people to their rooms, some to have blood taken, others to be treated.
"Hey, crazy man, gimme a cookie!" I demanded, slamming my hands down on the table infront of him.
"Sorry, blood doners only" His creppy grin on his face as usual.
"Then god-dammit, stick a freaking needle in me and take my blood, i want a cookie!" I shouted, surprising most all the humans in the room.
"Heh... right this way." He said, leading me into a room to have my blood taken and put into a bag which i would soon be drinking. They took the needle out of my arm, and as i stood up to leave, i felt light-headed.
"Her-" He was stopped halfway through his sentence as i reached out and grabbed a handful of cookies and started nibbling on them.
"Bloody hell, you coulda waited for me to finish talking" I hurried out of the hospital, back to the main building to talk with everyone.
"Hey guys, whats going on?" I shouted at the bunch of people, already in their own conversation.
"The usual, i'm waiting for you to get closer so i can hit you, Al is just being awesome, and evil is polishing her guns and vaguely listening to the convo." Bob said, swinging for me as soon as he finished talking.
"Idiot, you missed. Anyway, the hospital just gave me a handful of cookies... well i kinda was meant to take one, but i took a handful, and BOY were they BIG!" I said, excited about the cookies i munched off, still holding half of one in my hand.
"You idiot" Al said, covering her face with her hand
"What the hell have i done?" I questioned
"Never-mind. Anyway, are you guys ready then? We're gonna be se-" She was cut off by the sound of my stomach growling.
"Whoa... that's new" I said, confused. My stomach made the same noise again, but this time it was followed by gut wrenching pain (see what i did thar 2?) "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE FUCK?" I screamed in pain "DID I EAT FUCKING RAZORS?!" The pain kicking in again along with the noises
"Your a vampire, you DON'T EAT! Otherwise it fucks with you. Like so" Almerase said, pissed off that i made such a newbie mistake after all this time. "Wonder what happens to you though..."
"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!?!" I Screamed again as i slammed down onto my knees, curling over, cuddling my stomach.
"Well, different things happen to different people, some vomit, some get poisoned, shit some out-right die. Although i've noticed it's random, it's only 1 thing that'll happen to you." She stated. "Get in the damn toilet in-case you vomit"
"YOU THINK THAT'S EASY IN THIS STATE?" I screamed at her. Miss evil kneeled down and helped me onto my feet, walking me towards the toilet.
"Well there goes our plans..." Bob said, disappointed.
After an hour, Miss evil, Bobalob and Almerase came to the toilet to see if the noises stopped.
"Dude... you okay in there." Bob said, sounding genuinely concerned.
"He better not of gone and died in there" Almerase said, concerned, but annoyed still that i made such a stupid mistake.
"HHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG" *Plop*
"THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" Bobalob shouted
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" *Splash*
"He's fucking dying in there isn't he?" Almerase panicked
"OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD" *Bloop* "Ahhhh"
"I'm breaking in there to help him!" Miss evil shouted, as she started kicking the door. After a few kicks, the door slammed back onto its
hinges, and they saw a sight they'd never forget.
"DO YOU GUYS FUCKING MIND!" I screamed at them in anger, busting in on me doing a poop. "ISN'T A GUY ABLE TO CRAP IN PEACE?!"
"But... all those noises..." Evil whined
"WAS ME CONSTIPATED! Fuck... seems food makes me need to shit and gives me constipation... either that or i crapped out whole cookies."
"Didn't our bodily functions stop working? Well 'cept pain and blinking and that stuff?" Almerase said in confusion.
"Well that's what I thought, until i crapped out..." I quickly glimpse into the toilet "Holy crap. It WAS a whole cookie. No wonder it hurt
so much." I said, somewhat relieved, but also scared "Wait a minute, does that mean I've got an elephants foot for a butthole now?"
"I AM NOT CHECKING!" Bob screamed, cringing
"No way in hell" Almerase guarded herself with her arms
"WHAT?" Miss evil staring at me, utterly sickened.
"Well then... you learned your lesson?" Almerase said, still pissed that i ruined her expedition plans.
"Yup, but going through that again for cookies? TOTALLY worth it" I said, and started laughing hard as Almerase slapped me upside my head
"Idiot..."
Bonus story: Read if you want, you might not understand (i didn't phrase most of it well) but lets see if anyone can figure out why she wanted to be bitten so badly XD Oh and shes not dead, that's all i'll say.
BONUS STORY:
I grew attached to Jenny as we talked for abit, eventually she started to fear me less, and i stopped calling her human and actually called
her by her name. We talked on most days since she found my life interesting, and i found her old life before we interfered pretty interesting after. But this has nothing to do with that.
Jenny was running around the clan building, into almost every room, shouting "PLEASE, SOMEONE FEED OFF OF ME" For some strange reason, she missed the pain in her neck from the fangs being buried into it. Anyway, she ran by Al and the gang (The gang stands for Almerase, Me, Bobalob, and Miss evil, if i ever use it again, i'll mention the gang beforehand) and grabbed us screaming "PLEASE, OH PLEASE BITE ME!"
"What the fuck?" I said, utterly confused.
"Fuck, if you wanna be bitten so badly, i'll go ahead and do it" Bobalob said, grinning and letting his fangs slip out of his mouth.
"NO! You ain't biting her!" I shouted angrily, then thought for a little bit "Jenny, mind if i take a little blood? I miss the sweet taste"
"ANYTHING, JUST BITE ME!" She shouted, getting back up and showing me her neck. I saw bobalob bite her ass without fangs.
"Oh her-de-bloody-har bob" Bob grinned and let go. I let my fangs extend themself and then bit into her neck, sucking some of that sweet, sweet blood that i missed so much. After about a minute of drawing her blood, slowly to savour the taste and to not completely drain her, she screams "OHGOD YES!!!!!!!!!!!" And shudders in my arms. I instantly withdraw my teeth, quickly dropped her and stared at her blankly.
"PLEASE say that isn't what i think it was" I blurted
"Oh crap i think it was" Bob staring at her, stuck between laughing and screaming
"But... it couldn't be, could it?" Almerase, staring, shocked.
"No way..." Miss evil looking at us both, baffled.
Me and bob both look a little further down her body, and see what we expected.
"NO! NO NO NO! NO WAY THAT HAPPENED!" I start shouting, so confused at what happened.
"You actually done that? Are you... how... what?" Bob losing words mid-sentence.
Almerase and miss evil wonder why we started babbling and look for themselves. Instantly they blush.
"Uhh... yeah... i think i've gotta go somewhere... way over there..." Almerase chokes out, waving her arm just away from Jenny
"Uhm... should i laugh or cry? Actually, just make sure to NEVER bite me ok?" Miss evil panics and then runs off as me and bob are still staring blankly.
"We will never speak of this again!" I shout at bob
"Agreed" Bob nods, and we slowly back away from Jenny as she lays on the floor, drooling, aswell as a wet patch on the floor.
__________________
I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
And I'm back y'all, and I'm back y'all
And I'm backety back and I'm back y'all
I'm backety back back
And back back and backety back yo
Because I'm back and I'm black
This post has been edited 2 time(s), it was last edited by Nemazis: 10-08-2009 23:04.
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10-07-2009 14:09 |
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